Another Life
by KosmikQuixotic
Summary: Arden was a relatively normal sixteen year old girl, with a few quirks. Then she died. Then she woke up. As a baby. She soon (or not -so-soon) realizes that she is in the universe of SNK. She struggles with her new life, full of death and corruption. Rated T just in case language gets a bit out of hand. (Lame summary is lame) ****INDEFINITE HIATUS****
1. Chapter 1

**This story is undergoing a rewrite at the moment, and there also won't be new chapters for awhile. I read over the whole thing again, and I found a lot of mistakes, including the failure to keep consistent verb tense (a lot failure in that area). I might archive the original somewhere on my computer, so .. I guess if you want to read it, PM me, though there isn't much difference, and I don't know why anyone would want to read the original.**

**This is the original author's note from September 29th, 2014:  
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**Hey there. This chapter used to be 5 separate chapters, but they seemed too short, so I compiled them into one.  
>Just to warn you, this is one of those lame <em>fan is reincarnated into world of fandom<em> fics, so if you don't like those then.. Well I would say leave now, but I don't want you to leave. So if you don't like them read it anyways, yeah?**

**Okay. Since the chapters are longer now, the time between updates will also be longer, so be prepared for that. I will still try to update as often as I can, but school comes first, and so on and so forth. ~Enjoy! (or don't, it's up to you really :D~**

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><p>I wake to my alarm blaring in my ears. I rub my bleary eyes. 4:45 A.M. <em>Remind me why I choose to get up so early? <em>I ask myself. I roll on to my front. Then I roll on my back again. I roll one more time, and any lingering drowsiness leaves me as I make impact with the hardwood floor. "Unng." I groan.

I stand up, and walk to my bathroom. I sit on the toilet seat, waiting for the water for my shower to heat up. _Did I finish my homework last night? _I think to myself. _I'm pretty sure I did. _I get up and walk back into my room. I unzip my bag, and check my agenda. "Oh, hell yeah!" I exclaim, remembering now, I finished my calculus homework the last night because I knew that I'd want to laze around all morning.

I speed back to the bathroom. The water is steaming up the mirror now. I quickly undress from my fleece pajamas and stand under the warm spray. I tilt my head back, eyes closed, and let the water run down my body. After a few moments of bliss, I wash my body and massage my scalp with shampoo and conditioner.

I lean over and turn off the tap. I dry off and wrap myself in my robe. I comb my fingers through my long hair, annoyed that my hair brush isn't on the sink counter. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and leave to seek out my traitorously absent hairbrush.

After a few seconds of searching, I find it on my dresser. I take great care in brushing the hair that I've been growing out since 1st grade. After I brush out the offending tangles, I comb my waist length bangs, and braid back my knee-length hair. I scrape back my bangs and secure them with

bobby pins.

_Okay, clothing now. Clothing. Where's my clothing? _I slowly turn to the laundry basket in the corner of my room. It was overflowing with dirty clothes. I give it a death glare and trot to my dresser. I have a neon pink bra, too-small underwear, and three socks. Sighing, I put on the bra and underwear. My eyes rake over the socks.

One is dark green, one yellow, and one a sickening shade of orange.

Don't get me wrong, I love the color orange. But I love sunset orange streaked across the sky. Not cat-puke orange on a sock. I opt for the green and yellow socks. I then stride over to my closet. All I have is dresses. I scowl at the selection, and grab a dark green dress that goes just past my knees, an inch or so longer than my hair. It has elbow-length sleeves and a pattern of slightly darker green vines and leaves. It isn't that bad a dress, really. It's kind of pretty. But I hate wearing dresses and skirts. It leaves this empty feeling in between my legs.

I think back to the last time I wore a dress. Papa's funeral. My eyes fill with tears, and I will them away. No crying. He died 4 years ago. It's stupid to

still be upset.

I roughly yank the dress on and look at myself in the full length mirror. I see a pale, freckled girl. She has long, dark red hair that reaches her hips. She is tall, about 5'7'' with large stormy gray eyes and a small angular nose. She has soft pink lips that naturally curl downward in a frown. Her chin is thin and sharp, and she has high cheekbones. Her stomach is flat and muscled. She has strong calves and her feet are small, the second toes longer than the first. Her hands are soft. Her biceps are also muscled, but not too noticeably. Her breasts are large, especially in comparison with the rest of her thin, angular body.

I walk away from the mirror and out of my room. The clock in the hallway says 5:02. Getting ready had taken less time than I thought. After standing there a few seconds, I go back in my room and get my laptop. I exit again and go down the stairs to the living room. The sun is still rising outside. I turn on the light in the living room and settle on the couch with my laptop and wireless mouse.

I shake the mouse around, drawing imaginary patterns with it's cursor, debating what to do with the 2 hours before I have to drive to school. I decide that I am going to watch anime, a usual practice for me. I'm not in the mood for searching for a new anime to watch, so I start re watching Shingeki no Kyojin for the umpteenth time. I used to watch the show all the time with Kyra, back when we were still friends. Back before she...

Saddened at the memory, I start episode 1. I've seen this particular one approximately 17 times. I could probably read along with the script. I stop thinking about life and give my whole focus over to the show. When the theme song starts, I sing along with it softly.

Unaware of how much time has passed, my eyes flicker up to the clock. 8:26 A.M. I shut the laptop and bolt up the stairs. I snatch my school bag and shove my laptop inside, and snag my sketchbook and put it in my bag too. I sprint back down the stairs and grab my keys off the kitchen counter.

I jumped in my beat-up old truck and back out of the driveway.

I know that I am high above the speed limit, but I go even faster at the thought of Mr. Neren's condescending tone.

It isn't until I see the semi-truck come into my peripheral view that I realize I'm not buckled. My truck rushes towards the semi, the brakes ineffectual. _Why aren't my brakes working? _I scream in my head. It seems like time is speeding up. A thousand thoughts rush through my head in half a second.

Funny how in books it always says that time seems to slow. No. It's going fast. Very. Then comes a second of the worst pain I've ever felt, and I hear someone scream. Me. _Goodbye, World _I think dramatically as everything turns black.

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><p>Everything is dark. <em>I always thought there was supposed to be some light I need to walk into… <em>I just sort of… float in the darkness. Waiting for whatever happens next. I think about school, the calculus assignment Mr. Neren will never receive. I can almost hear him cracking a joke about my absence. The man hates me. I think about doing my laundry. Hmmph. My laundry isn't going to get done now, is it? I think about everything there is to think about. I think about the past. I think about the moment that I... died. _Maybe I didn't die. Maybe I'm in a coma. _I dismiss the thought when I remember the lesson in health class about what a coma is like. This.. this nothingness is not how it was described.

I just keep waiting. I have no way of knowing how much time has passed. How much time will pass. _I wonder if this is Hell? This endless nothingness. This non-existence. _

I just keep waiting. Alone in the darkness, just me and my thoughts. So alone. Alone in the dark. The neverending darkness. I'm usually a patient person. I'd wait in the school parking lot for hours, waiting for my mother to wake from her drunken stupor, and perhaps remember me. Waiting in the rain. I spent a lot of my life waiting. Waiting for Dad to come home. Waiting for Kyra to remember everything I gave up for her, waiting for her to be my friend again. Waiting for my little sister to be born. Waiting for her funeral to be over. Waiting for the dirt to cover her casket.

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><p>I just keep waiting. It feels like an eternity. More likely a year. A year. I've been in the darkness for so long. I forgot what light looks like. What sound sounds like. What smells smell like. How the breeze feels on my skin. How a cool scoop of ice cream tastes on a hot summer day.<p>

As soon as I complete that thought, a pinprick of light appears in the dark. Light. Light, it's been so long, old friend. Suddenly, the light surrounds me, and I am blinded by it's brilliance. I blink again and again, never adjusting to the light. I lift my hand to cover my eyes. _My hand. My eyes. I have hands and eyes again? _I spent so long, floating in the non-existence, I forgot the feeling of having a body. My eyes open to stare at my hand. It's tiny. Really tiny. Itty-bitty baby tiny. _Baby._

_Oh._

_Oh God._

_I'm a baby._

_Are babies supposed to remember their previous lives?_

I try to speak, but it comes out as a wail. My vocal cords must not be developed... I begin to cry. At first I am pretending, because that's what babies are meant to do and I am supposed to be a baby after all, but I'm not pretending anymore. I'm crying because, well, I died. I just freaking died. I'd never ever be able to go back. I'll never sleep in my bed again. I'll never go to my school again. I'll never be scolded by Mr. Neren again. I'll never fall asleep on my couch reading manga again. I'll never sleep in my fleece pajamas again. My new mother cradles me in her arms. I stop crying. A nurse, I think, picks me up. The blanket she wraps my in is scratchy and rough against my too-sensitive skin.

I notice that we aren't in a hospital. It's not fluorescent, it doesn't smell of antiseptic and death. There aren't white tile floors and white walls, and white, sterile everything. I look up at the nurse. But she isn't one. She doesn't look like a nurse. More like.. what did they call those in the old days? Midwives? _So, I'm not in a hospital. Why am I not in the hospital? Am I somewhere in the past or something? Before modern hospitals, at least. But wait. If I'm before hospitals.. Internet. We won't have Internet._ I internally slap myself at the foolish, selfish thought. People have survived without Internet for thousands of years. I'll be fine.

Suddenly I feel tired. Really, really tired.

* * *

><p><em>3 years later<em>

My new mother is going to take me with her to a nearby city. Maybe I should stop calling her my 'new mother' but.. she isn't my old one. She's not _my _mother. But maybe that's a good thing. We live in a small village, in the distant past. I'm not sure what country we are in, but the language spoken here seems Germanic, but muddled, like it's been mixed with a bunch of other European languages.

We are going to a nearby city for supplies of some sort, that can't be bought from the traders in our small settlement. I believe we live close to a high-walled city called… Kuroroba.. Chlorba? The accents are strange and unfamiliar, despite my having lived among them for 3 years. Our village is so small, it's seems as if it has no name. I don't know the name of the city, though it's much farther away than Chlorba.

We will be leaving soon, with another family from this village. I think I heard that it will be a 5 hour trip from here to the city.

Ever since I realized the people didn't speak English, I started listening intently to all the conversations carried on around me. Soon enough, I picked up the language.

My mother, Esme, takes my hand and leads me outside to a horse-drawn carriage.

Inside there is already the well-to-do family from our village that we are accompanying. I am quiet for the whole trip, alone with my thoughts. I fall asleep about 3 hours in.

The carriage jerks to a stop, jarring me from sleep. I'd been having a dream, about what, I can't say. Esme slightly shifts my arms and she lifts me up while she hops out of the carriage. When she sets me gingerly on the ground my eyes sweep the area, taking in my surroundings.

There are shops set up all around us in the market. My eyes catch on a huge, towering wall.

_The Great Wall of China? _I wonder. _But if we were in China, wouldn't we speak Chinese?_

I poke Esme, "Mother, what is that?" I ask, pointing at the wall.

"Arden, Sweetheart, that's Wall Maria." She replies softly, in a sweet tone. "It's there to protect us."

My heart skips a beat. Two. _It can't be. _I think. _I can't be.. here. It's not.. possible. _My thoughts are slow, stuttering. This is like one of those fanfiction things that Kyra was so obsessed with. _If that's Wall Maria, then it must be... I'm in SNK. Or at least it's universe. Oh, this is not good. This is very not good._

I'm numb. Shocked. I shake my head. "Where are we?" I ask, breathless.

"The city is called Shiganshina." She tells me.

I almost laugh. Almost. We live by Shiganshina. I always thought Chlorba sounded familiar. I see a man nearby with a newspaper. My sharp eyes pick out the date.

My heart sinks. April 12, 838. Assuming this world will take the direction of the anime and manga… _seven years. I only have seven years. _

Seven years until the Colossal Titan kicks through the gate in Shiganshina.

Seven years until the Armored Titan crashes through the main gate of Wall Maria.

Seven years until everyone dies.

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><p><em>3 years later.<em>

I sit up in my straw bed and shake off my blanket. I quickly, neatly fold it and place it at the foot of my bed. I pull on my small boots, lace them up, and slip out of my room.

I creep past my parents' room, deftly avoiding the creaking boards I had memorized the locations of.

I sneak into the kitchen, and fill my water canteen. When I reach the wooden front door, I slowly turn the creaking knob, and edge the door open.

I inhale the night air, and gently pull the door closed behind me.

I jog through the fields of our farm, headed for the woods.

When I get to the woods, I weave my way through the trees until I reach my training spot. There is a rope tied between 2 trees, that I use to practice balance, something required to operate omni-directional gear.

The trees the ropes are tied to are tall, about 12 meters. Strong, with thick, sturdy branches.

I jump up as high as I can, and catch the lowest branch, about 4 feet above my head. I swing back and forth a bit, then pull myself up onto the branch.

I begin to scale the tree. About halfway up, a good 20 feet off the ground, I crouch on my branch. I inch to the edge, as far as I dare, and leap to the tree to my left. I miss the branch I aimed for, but manage to catch one about a yard below it. After pulling my body up onto the branch, I scoot to the base of the branch. This tree is taller than the one I jumped from, so I climb higher. When the branches start to creak under me, I jump to the next tree, only this time, I catch the right branch.

I repeat the process 7 more times, going lower with each leap. I climb down the last tree, and about 6 feet away from the ground, I jump. I land on my feet, but roll to break my fall. I sit for a moment, breathless.

I walk back to my rope and climb up onto it. I slowly move to the center of the rope, feeling like a tightrope walker, and stand there, practicing my balance. Gaining confidence, I bring my left leg up slightly. Soon enough I am balancing on the rope with just one foot. After balancing for another minute, I hop down, and practice a gymnastic routine. Training my flexibility. I do a backwards roll, then a series of cartwheels. Next I do a back handspring and a front flip.

I feel agile in my 6 year old body, and I already have strong muscles developing in my legs.

Now I practice what little karate moves I know, plus basic kicks and punches. When I finish my measly hand to hand practice, I set off again. I weave through trees, and jump over small bushes and piles of brush.

I reach a large clearing deeper in the woods. From the clearing, there leads a trail, one I'd created for what I call stamina training. After half a mile, the path loops back to the clearing. The trail is about a mile long total, and I run it twice every night. Tonight, I decide that I will run it 3 times. I need to build up my endurance if I am going to survive in this harsh, unforgiving world.

Halfway through the third lap, I feel like I won't be able to continue. I scold myself, and say that if my mind starts complaining again, I'll force myself to run five laps.

I end up running 6.

When I finish lap 6, I collapse in the clearing and stare up at the fading stars. I take a long drink from my canteen, and I realize that daytime is approaching. I'll need to get back to the house soon, before my parents wake.

My pace a light run, I make my way out of the woods and jog through the fields until I get to the house. Just in case anyone is awake, I climb in through my window. I unlace my boots, and yank them off my feet, wiggling my tiny toes. I lay down on my straw bed, and spread my blanket over myself, clutching it tightly, and soon sink into sleep.

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><p>"Arden, it's time to wake up!" My mother's voice reaches me through the thick veil of sleep. My eyelids feel heavy. I blink open my eyes and rub them.<p>

"I'll be down in a moment, Mother," I call softly.

Groaning, I roll out of bed and quickly fold my blanket, and place it at the foot of the bed. I stand up too quickly and white shoots across my vision. I sit back down again, and slowly get back up. I pad down the hall barefoot, and go into the kitchen.

"Mother, what day is it?" I ask drowsily.

"It's Sunday today," She replies.

I inwardly sigh with relief.

"Okay." I say quietly.

I pause a moment. "I'm not feeling well, Mother."

"Oh, come here, Sweetie." She says in a concerned voice.

I rarely complain, even with the lack of sleep I get from training at night. I ended up staying out too late last night. I go over to her. She presses the inside of her wrist to my forehead. Her hands feel cold.

I shiver. Her eyebrows draw together.

"You do seem to have a fever, Arden. Do you want to go lie down?" She asked.

"If that's okay…" I trailed off.

"Oh, Sweetheart, it's always okay," She stroked my long red hair.

She takes my hand and brings me back to my room.

I lay down on my bed, and my mother spreads my blanket over me.

"Go to sleep, Arden," she whispers in my ear softly.

She leaves the room, shutting the door gently, and I close my eyes. My mother, my old one, never would've treated me so kindly. She would've accused me of lying and just trying to get out of going to school. Esme is so kind, warm-hearted. I've never heard her yell, and she certainly doesn't drink.

With that bitter thought, I sink back into sleep, slowly, then all at once.

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><p><em>4 years later<em>

I've been keeping a journal. It covers what I know of the plotline of Shingeki No Kyojin, to the last detail. I never finished the manga, but I ran into spoilers all the time, so I know who not to trust.

I wrote about my previous life too. I hope I'll never forget, but when it begins to fade, as all memories do, I won't forget.

I can't remember what my mother's face looks like. _She's not my mother anymore. _I tell myself.

She'll never be my mother again.

It's getting harder to speak English. At night, before I train, I practice English phrases. The journal is written in English as well. I've been practicing calculus too. I don't want to lose my brain.

I was always the smart girl in my old life. In advanced classes for everything, ever since first grade. I don't go to school here, it's a luxury we can't afford. It doesn't bother me much. Most children my age can't even read or write yet. Mother taught me to read, but I learned how to write alone.

My mother and father left for Shiganshina a few minutes ago, to stock up on supplies, and I chose to stay home. After I swiftly complete the list of chores assigned to me, I sprint to my training area. I have 2 whole days to train and I'll finally get a proper amount of sleep. That is, if I remember to. When I train, I stop thinking, I throw myself into the routine. It's not often I get the chance to train without the risk of being caught. I'm a bit surprised I've not been caught yet.

I go to my balance rope. 2 months ago, I had adjusted the ropes to be similar to the actual equipment used in cadet training, but it proved no challenge. I reverted it back the next night. Hopefully cadet training will be easy, then.

My main exercise (aside from the endurance training) is flying through the trees. I'm far better at it now than I was when I was six. When I first started, 3 years ago, I could barely climb my starting tree. I chuckle quietly at the thought.

I stayed high in the trees for the better part of 2 hours, before I move on. I jog to the clearing to do my gymnastics. After thoroughly stretching, I do cartwheels, flips, handsprings, round-offs, headstands, and quite a few more moves. I also have a quick acrobatics routine.

I climb a tree, where 2 ropes with loops at the ends hang a few meters above the ground. I jump off the tree, and grab ahold of the ropes, slipping my fingers in the loops, and hold the ropes tight. After I swing back and forth a bit, I swing myself up, do an aerial somersault, and catch the ropes again.

There are little leather grips on the loops, to prevent blistering. After I catch my breath, I swing up again, do a flip and a twist in the air, and land on my feet.

I'm a bit impressed with myself. I didn't think I could do that. I smirk, and give myself a pat on the back.

I begin my hand to hand routine, attacking a small dummy I made. I channel all of my inner frustrations into the hits and kicks. I kick too high, and fall on my butt. I'm not good at hand-to-hand. The first time I started trying, my knuckles bled.

After I finish beating the shit out of a few sacks of flour, I stretch. Time for running.

I start the path jogging, and slowly increase my speed. My breathing is quick, but controlled. To keep it steady, I breathe in when my right foot hits the ground, and breathe out with my left.

Using this technique, I run 15 laps. I rest in the clearing, and deplete my canteen. I lay in the clearing, staring up at the cloudy gray sky, until my breathing evens out. Setting my pace at a light jog, I go back to the house to fill my canteen and take a nap.

When I finish with my brief (who am I kidding, it was 4 hours), I run back to the woods, and train until nightfall.

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><p>When I wake up the next morning, I dress myself in my training outfit, which I usually sleep in. It consists of a light brown shirt, and snug pants I crafted out of potato sacks. I pull on my boots and lace them up. I walk to the kitchen and prepare oatmeal for my breakfast.<p>

My parents will be getting back from Shiganshina late tonight. I plan to spend all of today training. I fill my canteen, and the spare, to bring with me to the woods.

I pack myself 2 pieces of bread for lunch, and place them in my knapsack, along with 10 coils of rope and strips of leather that I found in the shack behind our house.

I grab my knapsack, and jog to the area where I set up my acrobatic ropes. I fashion the 10 coils of rope I brought into more looped ropes. I fix on the leather strips inside the loops.

I sling the ropes over my shoulder, and climb a tree. I tie the first two ropes a couple meters away from the original ropes.

I leap into the next tree, and tie two more. I repeat the process until I run out of rope.

I jump out of my tree, and land on my feet. I go back to the original ropes, and climb a tree. I climb up 20 feet and I dive out of the tree. As I fall, I grab the ropes.

My shoulders ache at the sudden stop. Thankful that I stretched before I began, I swing myself back and forth. When I finish building my momentum, I swing forward and let go. I do a flip in the air, and grab the next ropes.

I keep going, building momentum and letting go. Each time, I do a flip or a twist in the air, and catch the next ropes.

When I get to the last two ropes, I turn myself around, and continued my exercise. I keep doing my acrobatics for another hour or so, and then I drop to the ground.

I decide to go for a run. I get to the clearing, and stretch my legs for about 45 seconds, so I don't pull a muscle while running.

I start out the first lap at my normal jogging page, and increase my speed until I reach a full sprint. I go around my track 3 times at a full sprint, until I can't take it anymore.

I collapse in the clearing, and let my breathing slow. I take a huge gulp of water from my canteen, and I estimate that it's lunchtime by now. I walk to the tree where I left my bag, and pull out the bread.

I lean against the tree, eating my bread and sipping water.

When I finish eating, I stand up, re-energized. I stretch again, and prep myself for another run.

This time, I'm going for distance over time. I'll go as long as I can at a jogging pace.

I maintain my pace throughout the run, my canteen banging against my lower back. After 15 laps, my pace is much slower than when I started. By lap 19, I'm fast walking. I walk the next six laps around my track, taking drinks from my canteen periodically. When I finish lap 25, I collapse in the clearing, as is customary.

I lay there in the clearing until my breathing is back to normal, and my sweat is dry.

I get up and walk to my hand-to-hand training zone. When I attack the dummy, I throw in a series of poorly done rolls and flips, as if avoiding punches.

When I finish my attack on the innocent sacks of flour, I decide to start something new.

I wander in the forest until I find two equally sized branches to wield. I wind leather strips around the ends to form the hilt. I hold the branches and adopt an attack stance.

I spin as I slice through the air, cutting the shape of the chunk of skin they remove as they sever the spinal cord of a titan.

Even if the fall of Shiganshina never occurs, I decided to join the Scouting Regiment. I've invested too much time in making myself strong to not enlist.

* * *

><p><em>3 years later.<em>

It's coming. This year. This is the year the Colossal Titan will come and kick through the gate. The year the Armored Titan will crash through Wall Maria. Any doubts I had of it's occurrence have long since faded. This world is cruel, and corrupt. Nothing good could possibly come of it.

I talked my parents into letting us vacation in Shiganshina. Not to be close to the event, but to be able to escape faster. The place we're staying is very close to the boats that will take us to Wall Rose. Maybe it would be better to be in Trost, but that costs far too much, and I don't want to wait. As sick as it is, I'm anticipating it. Life.. it's so dull. Though, as much excitement the Titans will bring, they will bring mass death, and everyone will lose someone. Everyone will have a tragic story to tell.

I can almost feel it coming. I have a sinking feeling my stomach. Whenever I go outside, my eyes lock on the wall where the Colossal Titan will place his skinless hand.

The anticipation is making me sick. I'm usually a patient, quiet person, but who can be patient waiting for multitudes of giant man-eating monsters to come and devour thousands of people.

I hear a soft tap on the door frame and my mother pokes her head in the room.

"Would you like to come on a walk with us?" she asks.

Grateful for the distraction, I comply. "Yes, Mother" I say.

I follow her outside and exchange a greeting with my father.

"Good morning, Father," I say softly.

"Good morning, Arden."

My mother takes my hand, and we stroll through the city. We reach the gate to the outside, and sit down on a bench.

My mother pulls me onto her lap and starts braiding my long hair, which is almost at my knees again. My appearance isn't all that different from how it used to be. Although I am much stronger and faster now. It's strange that my genes remained the same. In fact, it should be impossible. I vaguely recall something from biology about no gene combination ever being the same. Ever. It's radically impossible.

My mother finishes fishtailing my hair and reaches her hand in front of me. I pull a hair tie out of my knapsack and hand it to her. She binds my hair, and tugs on my braid.

I move off her lap and rest my head on her shoulder.

She starts talking about a nice woman she met earlier today, and tells me that we'll be eating supper with her and her family. Soon, I fall asleep on her shoulder.

* * *

><p>I wake to my father scooping me into his arms. I blink open my eyelids and stare up at him. Seeing that I'm awake now, he sets me back down on the bench.<p>

Mother says "We're going to head back, okay sweetie? You can stay out a couple hours longer, if you want."

I nod my head. It's probably close to noon now. "I'll be back in an hour or so."

After they leave, I begin to wander. I walk slowly through a maze of unfamiliar streets. I come to a house that seems somehow familiar. I open my knapsack and pull out my journal. I sit down on the cracked stone steps of the street. I flip through the sketches in the journal.

I examine the drawing of a house with a giant boulder smashed into it. It's Eren's house. Less.. crushed, but it's Eren's house.

My eyes widen and I shove my journal in my bag and sprint away, for fear of.. something. After a few minutes of my lightning-fast running I reach the main road that goes to the gate.

I trot over to a crate and jump up on it. I swing my legs back and forth. I'm not sure why I ran. I just… did.

I sit on the crate, my legs still swinging, lost in thought, when I hear it.

I hear a sound that seems like an electric crackle, and my head snaps up to see a greenish-yellow flash of light.

_Oh, God. _

I jump off the crate at spin to face the gate. I look upwards to see the huge skinless hand gripping the wall. I turn back around and flee. I can hear it cock back it's monstrous leg. I speed up, but I'm not fast enough. It kicks the gate, which splinters into thousands of segments of stone.

A small chunk of rock crushes into my left shoulder. I let out a yelp of pain and clutch my bleeding shoulder, but I keep running.

I run, weaving my way through the people, or trying to. Someone elbows me, and I fall over.

I scramble back up, quick as I can, but the titans are already inside. I stare in horror as I watch a young woman be plucked off the ground. The titan unhinges it's jaw, and drops her inside it's mouth. It swallows her whole.

Her screams are echoing in my ears.

I stare. Then, I back away, slowly at first, but then I am sprinting. I think my mother and father and I run faster. When I get to the place we are staying, I find out that the titans must've gotten there first.

I see blood spattered everywhere, and lean down when something shiny catches my eye.

It's my mother's hand. Her wedding ring glistens bloodred in the sunlight.

I drop to my knees, and feel the tears running down my face. I lean forward, and touch her hand.

I hear thundering footsteps, growing louder by the second. I turn my head up, to see a titan. It wears a disgusting smile, blood dripping from its mouth.

I let out a horrified sob, and pull my mother's wedding ring off of her disembodied finger. I slide it onto my right ring finger, get up, and run.

When I get to the ships, there are already people swarming, and much to my surprise, I am pushed up to the front.

A Garrison soldier places a hand on my shoulder and nudges me forward. I wince at the pressure on my wound, which I released to bleed out long ago.

I board the ship, and lean against the side. I put my head in my hands and sink to the ground, uncaring of my shoulder, too broken, shocked at my loss. All of the preparations. We were staying so close to the boats. They should've made it!

Then I realize it. They were waiting... for me. They died, waiting for me, waiting to make sure I was safe. Everyone, anyone, would've ran away at the sight of a titan, not even considering who they're leaving to die. And my parents… they waited.

The tears increase in speed, streaming down my somehow bloody face. _How did I get blood on my face? _I gaze at my hands. Bloodsoaked. I wipe them on a small cloth from my knapsack.

I pull my journal out of my knapsack and read the plot of episode 2. Hannes must've just saved them, Eren and Mikasa, that is, so they should be boarding soon.

There's no room left on my ship, so I won't see them. Not yet, anyways.

I put away the journal, and all of the sudden I'm really, really tired. I take out my soft, gray sweater, and drape it over myself. I put my knapsack under the sweater, in my lap. I pull my knees up to my chest, and lay my head on lap.

I close my eyelids and drift into a dreamless sleep.

**Original A/N:  
><strong>

** Okay, Hi again. So I was reading through this, and it still seems really short, but it seems so much longer when you're the one typing it! Something that might make it seem longer is increasing font size, yeah? Try that maybe. Every word is important, so if you skip a few lines, you'll probably miss a major plot point or something XD**

**Chapter 2 is already in the works, so have faith. I might have it out as early as tomorrow and as late as Friday.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there. Here's chapter 2. I was kind of in a rush editing this and posting it before I had to leave for the weekend, so I'll need to come back and iron out the edges later. I need to leave _nooowww. So byee! (There won't be an Author's note at the end. No time. Mata ne!)_**

* * *

><p>That next day<p>

My eyes snap open at the sound of bells. I'm lying on a cold, stone floor, inside some sort of warehouse. I vaguely remember something about food rations, so I sling my knapsack over my shoulders and wander around until I find the old food reserves. The area is full of refugees. I still have food in my bag, but it won't last long. I get in line for my rations.

After a few minutes of waiting, I get to the front of the line. I hold out my hand, and a Garrison soldier gives me bread. I shove the bread in my bag, then I nod, almost imperceptibly, and walk away.

I explore the place that will serve as my 'home' until I enlist in the army, when I turn twelve. I could enlist now, the age may be twelve, but I could easily fake it. I instead decide to wait so I will be in the same year as Eren, Mikasa, and Armin.

I come upon an abandoned alleyway, and set up camp on top of some crates. I spread out my sweater, and empty the contents of my knapsack.

I have my journal, a pen, a water canteen, a sparse amount of crackers and bread, the ration bread, some money, a few strips of leather, a simple hunting knife with a sheath, a single change of clothes, a coil of rope, and a piece of string.

When I see the string, I slide my mother's ring off my finger, and put it on the string. I then tie the string around my neck.

I take the strips of leather, and strap the knife to the inside of my thigh. I wrap the items, except for the journal and pen, in my sweater, and stuff them in the bag.

I read through the rest of episode 2. In a few days, all of the refugees are going to be sent out to scavenge for food. But it doesn't change anything about the food shortage. In 846, they're launching a campaign to retake Wall Maria using the refugees. It's obviously a farce, a way to lower the population. 250,000 people will be sent out, and only about a hundred will return. It makes me sick.

At the end of the episode, Eren tells Armin that he'll enlist for military training the year after. Armin and Mikasa decide to join as well, and that's that.

Then there's a time skip to when they all enlist. Keith Shardis threatens and scares half of them away, and the episode is over.

The next episode sparsely covers the 3 years of training.

I sigh. 2 episodes to cover 5 years. I close my journal and put it in my bag with the rest of my things. I hop of the crate I'm sitting on, and check inside each of the crates. All empty, except for a few lingering piece of straw in the bottom of one.

I'd rather avoid the refugee houses, and choose to sleep here from now on. I stow my coil of rope in a long crate, and replace the top. I won't be able to train much, here in Trost, so I pull my journal back out, and practice English phrases under my breath. I don't want to lose my only piece of my old home. It's not hard to write in English, I do it all the time.

I think back to the time my mother noticed my absent-mindedly making a note in English, and asked what it was. I told her it was my secret language. I smile sadly. My mother. I finger the ring tied around my neck.

To distract myself, I do algebraic equations on the inside of the lid until the sun begins to set. I look up at the orange streaked sky. I leave the alley to get a better view, and watch, entranced as the sun sinks below the wall.

I go back to the alley, and pull the straw out of the bottom of another crate. I scatter it in the bottom of the long one, and climb in. I secure my coil of rope to the cover, and loop it around a loose nail in the floor of the crate. I take the excess rope, and tie it around my wrist, so if anyone tries to open the crate, I'll wake up.

I take out my sweater, and use it as a blanket. I wrap my arms around my knapsack, and sink into a dreamless sleep. My last conscious thought was _Thank God I'm not claustrophobic._

* * *

><p>3 days later.<p>

I hear whispers among the crowd as I collect my ration for the day. I put the bread in my knapsack along with my rations from the previous 2 days.

I've been eating a few crackers every couple hours, but it wasn't enough to sate my hunger. On the second day, I ate my ration bread from day one.

Garrison soldiers herd us into a group and guide us to the place we'll be farming.

The walk is about 2 hours, but I know I could've made much better time on my own.

When we reach our destination, I notice a layer of ice and frost blankets the ground.

I hack at it with my pick, and the ice cracks easily. I see that the people around me are still having trouble. I walk to a girl maybe my age, or a little younger, and show her my technique. She isn't as strong as me, but the ice cracks after a few hits.

"Thank you, miss." She says softly. She sounds almost.. Australian. I nod to her.

"What's your name?" She asks me.

"Arden. Yours?" I reply.

"Summerlyn." She tells me.

"That's beautiful... Summerlyn." I like the way her name rolls off my tongue.

"Thank you, Arden." She smiles at me, and my lips curl up a bit.

I walk over to a man to my left, and instruct him how to crack the ice. He nods his thanks, and I request that he pass on the knowledge, after I notice Summerlyn doing so.

A few minutes later, I see that almost everyone has picked up the skill.

* * *

><p>~A few hours later~<p>

I finish planting a seed, and I stood up. I walked over to Summerlyn and asked her if she knew the time.

"We're going to leave really soon" She says. I nod, and watch her plant another seed. A Garrison soldier who was watching the refugees work stands and announces that it's time to leave.

Summerlyn takes my hand and I flinch, but relax when she starts walking. We walk back together in companionable silence.

"I've seen you leaving the showers, but I never saw you stay at the refugee house," Much to my surprise, she doesn't ask where I stay or why. "Will you stay tonight?"

I blink, shocked, and nod slowly. "Okay."

We walk to the refugee house she stays in. She hops up on her bunk and scoots to the edge. She pats the other side.

I climb up fluidly, and sit down next to her. I smile warily, and she smiles back widely.

I start to pull out my sweater, and she shakes her head at me. She motions for me to get up, and I stand on the ladder while she pulls a blanket out from under her sheets.

"It would get stolen." She says to answer my questioning look.

I nod in understanding. Yesterday, I'd fashioned a lock on my crate. I didn't want anyone seeing the algebraic equations and calculus problems that were foreign to this world.

With my advanced classes, I have a college level education. I'm probably smarter than Armin. I smile at the thought.

Summerlyn reaches out and squeezes my hand. Then she closes her eyes, and after a few seconds, her breathing evens out.

I curl up, still holding her hand, and sink into yet another dreamless sleep.

When I wake up, the sun is just barely rising. Summerlyn's hand is still holding mine. I gently unclasp her fingers, and jump off the bed. My landing is soft, barely audible, due to all the jumping around in trees I did in my training days.

I trot to the community showers and keep mine as brief as I can while still getting clean. I dry off with one of the threadbare towels offered to the refugees, and re-equip my knife. Then I dress in a clean white shirt and tannish pants.

I pull a brush out of my knapsack and comb out my long red hair and fishtail it.

Summerlyn had been fascinated with my hair last night. She undid my braid on the walk back to Trost and played with it on the way to the refugee housing.

When I get back to Summerlyn's bunk, she is sitting up, her eyes shining with tears. I run over to her and ask her what's wrong.

"I.. I w-woke up a-and," she hiccups "you were gone. I- I'm sorry. I j-just had a ni- nightmare" se stutters out. My eyebrows draw together, and I climb up on the bed. I move to give her a hug, and she flinches like I'm about to hit her.

I wrap my arms around her shaking body. "Don't you dare." I say. "Don't you _ever _apologize for that. I hug her for awhile longer and let go. I jump down again, and she climbs down the ladder.

I take her hand, and we walk to the showers. I wait right outside until she comes back out.

She timidly asks if I'll do her hair for her. I nod and lead her to the allet. I sit on my crate, and motion for her to do the same.

I take my brush out, and pull out what little strands of hair are tangled in the bristles.

I brush out her golden locks, and do an elaborate 5 strand dutch braid.

I turn to the crate behind me and pull out 2 pieces of reflective metal. I angle them so she can see the back of her head.

Summerlyn lets out a small gasp, then turns around and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you, Arden. Thank you." She says softly.

I hug her back, and slide off the crate. "I'll race you to the old food stores to get our rations?"

She nods. "You're on."

She surprises me when she is able to keep pace with me. I grin at her, and speed up a little.

I win the race, and I wish I could say it wasn't tough.

"That," I say between gasps for air. "was fantastic!"

"Yeah," Summerlyn agrees breathlessly. "I've never been beaten before."

After we rest against the wall, we stand in a line to get our bread for the day. I usually get here earlier, before most people, but spending time with Summerlyn took a chunk out of my time. Not that I mind. I haven't truly smiled for a long time.

Soon enough, we reach the front of the line. A Garrison soldier hands us each our ration of bread, and I say thank you, rather than just nodding.

She hands me her ration. "Put it in you bag for me?" She asks, smiling.

I nod, and put both of our rations in my knapsack.

Summerlyn takes my hand, smiling again, and says "C'mon, I wanna show you something!"

She starts jogging and I easily keep pace with her. We go through a maze of cobblestone streets, until we come to a cellar in an alley similar to where I set up camp.

Summerlyn kneels down in front of the cellar. She lifts a key that was hidden under her shirt, and unlocks the cellar. I follow her down the stairs, into the dark room.

She reaches the bottom of the steps and fumbles around for something. She finds in and I hear her strike a match. The flame gives off a faint glow, but not enough to see the room by.

She runs around, lighting candles as she goes, until the room is illuminated in the soft glow. Summerlyn crouches in the corner, and pulls something out of a secret compartment in the wall. She settles down on a blanket in the corner and motions for me to sit.

I sit cross legged next to her and she holds out the mysterious object. I gasp.

It's a book. One just like Armin's about the world beyond the walls. She smile mischievously at my reaction, then hands me the book

"I can't read very well… I normally just look at the pictures, but.. will you read it to me?"

I blink, slowly nod, and take the book reverently. Summerlyn smiles expectantly.

"Summerlyn-"

"Summer. Call me Summer." She smiles.

"Where did you get this?"

"It's a secret." She says in a singsong voice.

I nod, open the cover of the book, and begin to read.

Hours Later

I pause in my reading.

"Summer, what time is it?"

She pulls out her pocket watch, which I learned was her father's."

"Woah." She giggles. "It's 9:53." My eyes widen.

"We have to be back by 10" I cry in alarm.

Summer rushes to the wall compartment and stows the book inside as I blow out the candles.

We run up the steps, and Summer quickly locks the cellar doors. I take her hand, and sprint my fastest, dragging her behind me.

We get to the refugee housing, and Summer clicks open her watch. "It's.. 10….. :02" She gasps out between breaths.

I sit on the ground, defeated.

"Arden?" Summer ventures quietly.

I look up.

"I hate to ask, but where've you been staying?"

I nod in understanding, and with a heavy sigh, I stand up, and take her to the alley.

I unlock my crate and say "Home sweet home."

I can tell by her eyes that she isn't judging me. Not in the least. Then they widen when they land on the highly advanced mathematical equations and foreign language etched on the underside of the top.

"I… there's not enough room for both of us.

Summer nods, and says "We can stay in the cellar. Bring your stuff." with a smile.

She surprises me yet again with her kindness. I point to my knapsack. "I keep everything in here."

She smiles, and we walk back to the cellar, slowly this time. I'm taking informations as I walk. Street names and locations, I log them in my head.

Summer unlocks the cellar, and hands me a match. We strike them on the wall, and light the candles together.

When we finish, Summer brings out another book, a different one, but also about the outside world, and also illegal. She grins at me.

We settle down on the blanket, and I read in a soft tone until Summerlyn falls asleep. I set down the book, and spread a blanket over her unconscious form. I blow out all the candles but one, and lay down next to her.

This time, rather than a dreamless sleep, I have an awful nightmare. So many terrors. I watch everyone I love either die, or be tortured. In one of them, my mother finds out the truth about me, and she tells me I'm not her daughter, that I never was. Then she tells me she won't ever forgive me, and her screams reverberate in my head as she is eaten. The next one is the worst. I'm a soldier, and Summer is begging for me to save her, screaming as a titan lifts her to it's mouth. I'm frozen to the spot. I'm trying to run to her, but I can't move.

I wake and Summerlyn is shaking me, tears running down her face. I sit up, and she rocks back.

"Oh Arden! You were screaming. You- you wouldn't stop screaming." She launches herself at me, and hugs me tightly. I latch onto her, reassuring myself that she's okay. She's here and she's alive.

I won't let her die in the Battle for Trost. I won't. I swear I won't let her die.

* * *

><p>About a year later.<p>

They announced the plan for retake Wall Maria yesterday, and I'm shaking with fury. It's just a stupid farce. They're trying to kill people to lower the population. It makes me sick.

250,000 refugees will leave, and only 100 return. Armin's grandfather is not one of the survivors.

Summerlyn places a hand on my shoulder. "Arden, you have to calm down. You can't do anything to help."

My shoulders slump, knowing that Summer is right. I can't do anything. Still. 249,900 people will die. I nod. She takes my hand, and leads me to the gater where the refugees will exit, and most will never re-enter. I spot the nice lady, who gave Summer her ration the day we were late to get there and the soldiers refused us food.

My eyes find Armin's grandfather. I grimace, and remember that Armin is sitting on the street, crying alone at this part.

"Wait here, please." I whisper to Summer. She nods.

I wander around until I hear soft sobbing. I see the small blond boy, clutching his grandfather's hat to his chest. I walk silently over to him and sit down next him. He doesn't notice me. I wrap my arms around him, and whisper in his ear "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He still doesn't look up, and I turn to leave. If he did look up, all he would've seen is my retreating figure and long red braid.

I return to Summer, and watch the refugees leave. We stay until the last one exits the gate. A tear runs down her face.

Summerlyn knows that I'm from a futuristic parallel universe, and she accepts it. She knows about the anime, but she never pries. She doesn't want to know the future. The girl is wise beyond her years. I told her, however, about the fate of the refugees who are sent out to their deaths.

We walk to the cellar, a melancholy feeling heavy in the air. The refugee housing will be open now. Full of beds. Summer and I enter the cellar and lay down without bothering to turn on the lights.

She squeezes my hand, and lets go. I roll to face away from her, and soon fall asleep.

* * *

><p>A month or so later<p>

"Hey Arden, are you going to join the army?"

"I-I… how do you know that?" I stutter, forgetting to deny it. Not that it'd work. I couldn't lie to Summer.

She holds up the recruitment flyer. _Oh. _"In your crate."

I sigh. "Yeah."

"Military Police? Goddess, tell me you aren't joining the Military Police!"

I smirk. "Never. Scout Regiment."

She lets out a mock breath of relief.

"I'm not going to try to talk you out of it. I just want to know why."

What I say is true, but not the only reason. "I'm going to let you leave these cramped walls and see the world someday." I promise her.

When she looks back up, her eyes are shining with tears. She runs over to me and hugs me tight.

She whispers "Thank you." in my ear.

Soon, tears fill my eyes too. For the first time in a long time, I let them fall. "I love you, Summerlyn. You're the sister I never had."

She nods into my shoulder. "I love you too, Arden."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there. Sorry, I still haven't finished editing Chapter 2. It'd be a huge help though, if you could point out any problems in a review! So this is Chapter 3. It took me awhile to write, since I had to go to my dad's this weekend, and we had a bunch of churchy stuff going on. It was really boring, but I did get some writing done in between sessions. So, about some things in this chapter.. The song Arden sings is Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. There's a lot more dialogue in this chapter, and I had to rewatch episode 3 to get all of it right. I watch my anime subbed, and the site I was watching it on said the instructor's name is Shardis, but I don't remember if it was supposed to be Shadis. I just went with the sub, so sorry if that's wrong. Ahaha. So, I'll put the rest of my notes at the end of the chapter. Thanks!**

* * *

><p>When the day comes for me to leave for training, I wake up before the sun has even begun to rise. I take time with my shower. I take time brushing out my long hair and braiding it up into a secure crown. I refuse to cut it like Mikasa will.<p>

I dress carefully in the uniform I received when I enlisted. I check every aspect of the uniform to ensure it's perfection. I check, double-check, and triple-check my knapsack.

Before I go back to the cellar, I take my mother's wedding ring off my necklace and slide it on my right ring finger.

I stare at my face in the reflective glass that Summerlyn framed for me. I search my impassive face for any sign of emotion, only seeing the coldness in my stormy gray eyes. Summer is the only one who can return the spark to them. When we sit in the cellar, a side of myself I thought I'd lost forever shines through.

I smile and laugh. I tell jokes only her and I understand. I open up. Throw down my masks. Summer is the only one that can do this for me. My little sister.

I unlock the cellar with my key, and see Summer sitting on her bed, something resting in her lap. I walk to her, and she reveals the object. I gasp.

It's one of her books. An illegal one about the world outside. The most precious of her small collection. It's detailed, with exceptional pictures. Leather binding, the title engraved with golden script. There's a shiny red ribbon tied around it.

I look up at Summer in awe. She holds it out to me.

"For you." She smiles.

I take the elegant book reverently, and place it in the secret compartment of my bag, with my journal.

Summer gives me a hug. I smile at her.

"Sit down, please." I say.

I pull my hairbrush out of my bag, and brush out her golden blonde hair. I do the elaborate nine strand dutch braid that I did for her on the second day.

I think back to the time when I told her how I learned it from my mother. Not Esme, but from my old life. She thanked me, not for the braid, but for sharing a piece of myself with her.

She understands the sentimentality of the braid, and smiles slightly.

"Arden, will you sing me a song? Not in my language, but English?" She asks softly.

I nod, and begin to sing in my best voice.

_I remember tears streaming down your face_

_When I said I'd never let you go. _

_When all those shadows almost killed your light._

_I remember you said, 'Don't leave me here alone'_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright,_

_no one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Don't you dare look out your window, Darling_

_Everything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on_

_Hold on to this lullaby_

_Even when the music's gone_

_Gone._

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now _

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_La La (La La)_

_La La (La La)_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_La La (La La)_

_Just close your eyes_

_You'll be alright_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh oh oh._

By the end of the song, Summer is crying.

"That was… Arden, your voice is beautiful," she says in awe. "Your language is so beautiful."

I smile, but it fades quickly. "I've got to go now, Summerlyn."

She nods, looking down. "I don't want to say goodbye…" she looks up at me and smiles weakly, "So I'll say see you later."

I kiss her on the forehead and pull her close.

After a long moment of consideration, I whisper in urgent tones "Summer. The year 850. Get out of Trost. All year, just stay out of Trost. I don't care how you do it, just… I want you safe."

Summer looks up, surprised. I don't talk about the future and she doesn't ask. She nods in understanding.

"Can I walk with you?"

I shake my head. "I'm sorry."

She nods again. She's crying again.

"Arden, I know you're strong. I watched you train one night. Just, be careful. Don't get hurt." She pauses a moment. "And you'd better come out at the top of your class, Scout Regiment or not."

I grin. "See ya later."

I leave, locking the cellar behind me.

* * *

><p>"You are now officially members of the training unit no. 104. Unfortunately for you, I, Keith Shardis, will be in charge." The instructor shouts.<p>

"I'm not here to give you a warm welcome. All of you are now merely livestock, waiting to be eaten by the titans.

"You're even worse than livestock. For the next three years, I'll train you useless shits. I'll teach you how to fight the Titans.

"When you face a Titan in three years, will you still be just food? Or will you become a glorious wall to protect these walls? Or a mighty champion of mankind who will destroy the Titans?

"The choice lies in your hands."

The instructor walks over to Armin.

"Hey, kid!" He shouts in his face.

"Sir!" Armin yells back.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Armin Arlert from Shiganshina, sir!"

"That so? A name fit for a retard! Your parents name you that?" Shardis says scornfully.

"It was my grandfather, sir."

The corner of my mouth twists down almost imperceptibly.

"Arlert, why are you here?"

"To contribute to humanity's victory, sir!"

"How very admirable. You should make first-rate titan feed."

He places his hand on Armin's head and twists him around. "Third squad! About face!"

"And who the hell are you?"

"Sir! I'm Thomas Wagner from Trost, Sir!"

"I can't hear you!"

"I'm Thomas Wagner-"

"I told you to speak up! Go practice sounding off properly in the barracks!"

I notice the two soldiers walking above us, observing out of the corner of my eye.

"Next! Who are you?"

"Mina Carolina, from Trost, sir!"

"Wrong! You were born in a pigsty, inferior even to swine!"

"Yes! I'm inferior to swine, sir!"

"Wrong! I tell you what you are and what you aren't!"

"Yes!"

I tune out Shardis while he interrogates another boy.

"4th squad! About face!" I turn.

He skips over a few recruits, and stops at Jean.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Jean Kirstein from Trost, sir!"

"What are you here for?"

Jean looks a bit surprised, then smirks.

"To join the Military Police Brigade and reside in the Inner City, sir."

"I see. So you wanna live in the Inner District?"

"Yes, sir."

I almost clap when Shardis headbutts Jean. He falls to his knees and Shardis shouts "Who gave you permission to sit?!"

"If you can't even handle that, you'll never make it to the Military Police Brigade!"

He keeps walking, passing over me without a second glance.

"And who the hell are you? What did you come here for?"

"I'm Marco Bott from Jinae, In Wall Rose's southern district, sir!"

"I came to join the Military Police Brigade and pledge myself to the King!"

"Is that so? Good man. A noble objective." Shardis's face darkens. "But remember: the King doesn't want you." He moves on.

"Next, you there! Who the hell are you?" I nearly groan when I realize he's talking to Connie.

"I'm Connie Springer, from Ragako, in Wall Rose's southern district, sir!"

Shardis picks up Connie by his head.

"Listen up, Connie Springer! This is one of the first things you were taught: That salute means you're offering your heart to the King! Is your heart on your right side, shithead?!"

A crunch reverberates through the air. Sasha. Shardis's eyes bulge. He drops Connie.

"Hey you. What the hell are you doing?"

Sasha looks left and right, then takes another bite. Shardis is right up in her face and he screams "You! I'm talking to you!"

"Who the fuck are you!?"

Sasha's eyes are wide. She swallows. She salutes, potato to her chest. "I'm Sasha Blouse from Dauper, in Wall Rose's Southern District, sir!"

"Sasha Blouse… What's that you're holding in your right hand?"

"A steamed potato, sir," She says. "I came across it in the kitchen, so I picked it up!"

"You mean you _stole _it?" he asks incredulously. "Why?" "Why are you eating a potato right now?"

"I wanted to eat it while it was still warm, so I figured it was now or never, sir." she replies.

"No… I don't get it. Why are you eating a potato?"

"Are you asking why people eat potatoes in general, sir?" she asks confusedly.

I have to hold in my laughter when I see Connie, Armin and Eren's faces, all turned towards the scene, clearly mortified at Sasha's actions.

Sasha gasps, as if taken aback at her own rudeness. She breaks the potato apart, unequally and holds out the smaller piece to Shardis.

"Take a half for yourself, sir." she says, but looks as though it's the most difficult thing she's ever done.

He takes the piece. "Half…?"

Sasha smiles.

"Run until your feet bleed! You're not having anything for dinner tonight!" Shardis screams, grinding the potato under his boot.

Sasha looks like she's about to cry, not about the running, I realize, but about the lack of food for dinner.

Sasha nods, and runs off to her punishment.

* * *

><p>I'm leaning against the wall of the mess hall, with Armin, Eren, Connie, and Marco all leaning over the railing.<p>

"Hey, that potato girl's still running." someone says.

"Wow. She's been at it for five hours now."

"Her reaction when he told her to run until she dropped was nothing compared when he told her she's not getting any food."

"Dauper is a small village of hunters up in the mountains, right?" Connie says.

Eren turns his head to the dropouts. "What's that?" he asks.

"Dropouts. Requested a transfer to the reclaimed lands." I say quietly. If I remember, that was meant to be Mina's line, but she's not out here with us.

"Already? It's only the first day…" Armin trails off.

"That's just how it is. The weak have no choice but to leave." Eren says grimly. Connie and Marco turn their heads.

"They'd prefer picking up rocks and pulling weeds…" Eren continues.

Marco gets up off the railing and turns to us. "That reminds me. We never heard where you're from or anything." He says

"Shiganshina." I say flatly. Eyes widen.

Eren puts a hand on Armin's shoulder. "I'm from Shiganshina. Same as him."

There's a collective intake of breath. "Oh.. I see." Marco says breathlessly. "That's…"

"Then you were there on _that _day too?" Connie butts in.

"Hey!" Marco says.

"Did you see it? The Colossal Titan?!"

"Yeah…" says Eren.

"It's time for dinner." I interject coldly, and walk inside.

When I get my food I sit at an empty corner table, glaring at anyone who tries to sit with me.

Dinner is a clear soup, bread, and water. Having lived with refugee rations, this is almost rich fare for me, but the other cadets are complaining.

I tune in to the conversation at Eren's table.

"I already told you, I saw it." Eren is saying.

"Seriously?" comes from Thomas.

"How big was it?" says a boy I don't recognize.

"Tall enough to look right over the wall" Eren says grimly.

"What? I heard it could straddle the wall!" says another boy I don't know.

"Me too!" says a girl with orange-ish hair.

"I heard the same thing in my village" exclaims someone else.

"No. It wasn't _that_ gigantic." Eren says.

"What did it look like?" asks Mina.

"It had barely any skin and it's mouth was enormous." he replies.

"What about the Armored Titan that broke through Wall Maria?" asks another boy.

"Even though people call it that, it just looked like a normal Titan to me." Eren says.

"Th-then what are normal Titans like?" says the boy. I grimace, knowing Eren's thoughts.

Eren's eyes go wide, and he drops his spoon into his soup and covers his mouth.

"Guy, that's enough questions." says Marco, ever the freckled Jesus. "I'm sure he has memories he'd rather not relive"

"Sorry for being so-" Connie starts

"That's not it!" Eren says, regaining his composure. He takes a bite of his bread. "Actually, Titans aren't such a big deal." He says with a freaky smile. "Once we master operating the Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear, they'll be no match for us!"

"We finally have the chance to become soldiers. I just swallowed wrong earlier. I'll join the Scout Regiment and purge this world of the Titans! I'll exterminate-"

The corner of my mouth twists down at his naivete.

"Dude, are you nuts? Jean asks. "Did you just say you want to join the Scout Regiment?"

"Damn straight." Eren says, his voice threatening. "And you're planning to join the Military Police Brigade to take it easy, right?"

"I'm just an honest fellow. I think that's preferable to acting tough when you're actually scared shitless." He says.

Eren stands up. "You got something to say?"

"Hey, stop it!" Marco tries.

Jean continues "Oh? I wasn't really…" He stands up and walks over to Eren.

The bell rings outside.

Jean sighs. "My bad. I wasn't trying to judge how you think. Let's just let it go." He holds out his hand.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too." Eren slaps the outstretched hand and walks out the door. Mikasa follows after him.

Ignoring Jean staring after her and the following interaction, I stand up and leave. I walk past Eren and Connie, and go back to the barracks.

After a few minutes of lying on my bunk, I hear Sasha screaming about Krista's godliness, and have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

A few seconds later, Ymir comes in with Sasha, and tosses the girl on her bed.

The lights go out, and I go to sleep.

"Pynke!" Shardis yells.

I calmly walk to the 3DMG training equipment. 2 soldiers clip the ropes to my belt, and I am slowly raised into the air. I find it surprisingly easy to keep my balance, I only sway slightly with the wind.

I observe the other cadets out of the corner of my eye. Mikasa is doing about as well as me, swaying a little more though. Sasha has her fists in between her awkwardly outstretched legs. Most everyone else is doing okay. My eyes land on Eren.

He looks comical, hanging upside down. "What the hell are you doing, Eren Jaeger!?" Shardis yells, bending down to be closer to his head. "Raise your upper body!"

After a few more seconds of hanging in the air, a soldier lowers me, and dismisses me to do whatever I want with my day until dinner.

I nod. "Thank you, sir." I say, monotone.

When I get back to the barracks, I climb up my bunk, and pull out Summer's book. I gingerly untie the ribbon and lift open the cover. A note falls out.

_Arden,_

_I want to say goodbye for real, because I know I won't have the guts to do it in person. I love you, and I know I should've told you, but I was too cowardly. There's this boy. We've been friends since a little while after you and I met. We always hung out in secret, and, Arden, I think I love him. He's living in the cellar now. I even showed him my books. He reads to me, now that you're gone. He loves the books. He told me that they're really worth a lot, enough to live in Sina, but I won't sell them. They mean too much._

_I'll write to you every week, okay? I love you Arden._

_Summer Glist_

I don't like the sound of the boy. He made Summer lie to me, and I don't like his fascination with her books. _He's sleeping in my bed now. Or hers…_ I shake myself. If she loves him, it doesn't matter what I think.

Someone walks in, and I look up. Mina Carolina. I put the note in my journal and the book in my secret pocket before she sees them.

"Oh! Hi! It's just about time for dinner!" she says.

I nod, and jump down, my landing is near silent. I follow Mina to the mess hall.

I get my food and sit at an empty table in the corner. My head is starting to itch from the tight updo. I undo the knot, and run my fingers through my hair, letting it fall to about a foot off the floor. I glare at the male population who are staring, and eat my soup.

When I finish, I grab my bread, and bring my bowl and cup to the counter. I begin my departure, almost to the door when I feel a hand grip my shoulder. I turn sharply and fix my glare on the offender. Eren.

"What?" I say, my tone flat.

"H-hey. What's your name?" He asks.

"Arden."

"I'm Eren." He says chirpily.

"I know, I heard Shardis screaming at you." I say, my voice still monotone.

He nods sheepishly. "So, I was wondering if you could help m-" He starts.

"No." I say, cutting him off.

"Please! I'm begging you! You were perfect!"

I notice Mikasa approaching. "So was your sister." I say pointedly.

"Just… please?" I look at the bandage on his head and realize she already tried to help. I think about the anime. Eren makes the cut anyways. Then I remember what Summer said. Something about being kind to the other cadets and not making enemies.

I throw my bread at Sasha with precision, who jumps up to catch it. I turn, and start to walk away. I pause when I realize Eren isn't following.

"Are you coming?" I ask over my shoulder. His defeated face lifts.

"Really? I mean, uh, yeah! Yes. I'm coming." I turn back around, smirking at his response. I pause at the bottom of the stairs, and turn towards the barracks. I stop outside the girl's barracks.

"Um, what are we doing here?" Eren asks.

I glare at him. "Why do you think? I need to get something. Stay." I order.

I walk inside, and grab my knapsack. When I get back outside, Eren looks upset.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm not a dog." He mumbles. I raise an eyebrow, and walk away.

I pull my journal out of my bag, and turn to my notes on episode 3. I'm squinting at the page, trying to read my English scrawl as I walk. Eren pops up behind me, attempting to read over my shoulder.

"What language is that?" Eren asks.

"English." I say shortly. I can't make out what I wrote about Eren's equipment. I know that's the reason he can't balance, but I can't read the problem. My forehead creases.

"What's wrong?" Eren asks.

"Can't read my old writing." I wrote most of it before I'd mastered fine motor skills. I pull a pencil out of my boot, and write notes of what I can decipher in the margins.

"What're you writing?" He asks. His voice is grating on my nerves.

"Does it matter?" I ask sharply.

"I was just curious." He says quietly, staring at his feet like a kicked puppy.

"Writing what I can make out." I say, quietly. Eren nods.

He taps me on the shoulder a few seconds later. I look up. We're at the 3DMG training area. I hand my journal to Eren.

"Hold this. Don't lose the page." Without waiting for a reply, I stride over to Eren's equipment, and inspect it for damage.

"Hmm" They seem fully intact, but just in case, I motion to my nearby equipment. "Hook yourself up.

Eren nods, and attaches the ropes to his belt. I think for a moment.

"Okay. I'm going to raise you up, quick as I can. Balance for as long as you can manage until I get there." I tell him.

"Ready?" He nods, a determined look in his eyes.

I turn the crank with ease and rush over to Eren. I wait a second, until I see him begin to fall. I hold him upright by his hips. His face goes red, and I roll my eyes.

"I think there's something wrong with your equipment. I'll keep helping you, but you need to try and balance for a sec while I look for it."

He nods again, and I gradually lessen the pressure on his hips. I keep one hand on his hip while I pick my journal up off the ground.

I squint at the writing, still unable to make it out.

"I've got it!" I exclaim, moving my hand without thinking. Eren starts to fall. "Shit." I drop the journal, and catch him with my cat-like reflexes.

"Do a handstand for me?" I joke, giddy with the victory. I lower the ropes. Eren, who is actually doing the handstand, starts to tilt and I catch him again before he falls. I gently lower his legs until he's lying flat on his back.

My voice monotone again, I tell him the plan. "Tomorrow Shardis is going to give you another chance. I know you have good balance, so I need you to stay upright for as long as you can. When I see you start to fall, I'll offer to trade belts with you, okay?"

"Wow, I think that's the longest I've heard you talk." I glare.

"Um, I think I get it. Why don't you just trade belts with me now though?" He asks.

"So you can display your prowess and get a better grade." I say deadpan. "I want to see something."

He nods slowly. "Arden?"

"What now?" I ask. Eren flinches at my hard tone.

"I… thanks."

"Mmph."

"Arden?"

"What is it?" I ask, my tone still sharp.

Eren flinches again. "You're from Shiganshina, right?"

I nod. "I lost people. But I also met the best thing that ever happened to me."

Eren nods. "I lost my mom. I-. Never mind."

"Goodnight, Eren." I say, and walk away, leaving him laying on the ground.

It's not until I'm back to the barracks that I realize I left my journal behind. _Stupid._

I sprint back, but I can't find it anywhere. That journal is my only way of knowing what's coming. And Summer's note is in it. Eren must've taken it. I thank Sina I took the drawings out last year, because they're the only thing someone might understand if they get their hands on the journal.

I can't exactly barge into the barracks demanding to have it back. I sigh. It'll have to wait until morning.

I go back to the barracks, lie down, and sink into sleep. With the lack of sleep I got as a younger child, I cherish these hours.

* * *

><p>When I wake the next morning, all the other cadets are still sleeping, aside from Mikasa, whose bunk is empty. The sky is still dark. I get up and take a quick showers, and braid my hair into it's now customary crown.<p>

I walk to the mess hall and eat my soup alone. When I finish, I take my bread with me and walk to the barracks where Eren stays.

By the time Eren exits, everyone else has already left, other than Armin.

Eren looks surprised to see me waiting. I smile tightly at Armin and fix Eren with my hardest glare.

I hold my hand out. "Journal." I say in my cruelest voice. Eren flinches and holds out the book, looking guilty. I snatch it from his hand.

"I couldn't read any of it." He mumbles, then even quieter "except for the letter."

If at all possible, my glare gets colder, full of resentment.

Armin jumps in. " I can't read the language, but your mathematics near the back are crazy advanced, I could barely even grasp the concept of most of them."

When I glare at Armin, it's not as hate-filled, but enough to make him flinch.

"Arden? I'm sorry. Will you still help me?" Eren asks timidly, looking at his feet.

"Yes." I say, my voice holding it's cold intensity. "I made a promise. I keep my promises."

"Thank you." He says softly.

I pull the bread out of my jacket and tear it in two. I give a piece to both of them.

"You missed breakfast. Leave sooner next time." I say, and jog off to the training area.

Eren and Armin get there a minute later. Mikasa sends a questioning glare their way.

Eren is hooked up to the equipment and Shardis asks him if he's ready.

"Yes, sir!" comes Eren's determined response.

When I see him start to lose his balance, I speak up.

"Sir!"

"What is it, Pynke?" I wince as Eren falls.

"Can I switch belts with Jaeger, sir?"

Shardis considers a moment. "Go ahead."

The soldier lowers Eren to the ground. I quickly undo my belt and hand it to Eren. He fumbles around a bit longer with his, but passes it to me, and puts my belt on.

I hand Shardis the belt with a nod, and return to my spot. The soldier raises Eren up again, and I can hear the oohs and ahs of the crowd at his exceptional balance. He's almost better than Mikasa.

"The equipment was faulty. The metal fittings on your belt were damaged. I've never seen damage to these parts before. I suppose we'll need to update the maintenance checklist. Sharp eyes, Pynke! Take the rest of the day off. You too, Jaeger."

I smirk at the murmurs of awe in the crowd at Eren's ability to balance with broken equipment.

Eren grins at me, and I give him a discreet thumbs.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi again! I hope you liked the chapter. I couldn't decide on a last name for Arden. It was going to be Greene, but my sister told me to be original if her name's going to be a color. So, Pynke. :D<strong>

**So if you're wondering about the boy in Summer's letter, you're going to have to figure that out on your own. I think it's kind of obvious, but that's probably because I know what's going to happen. If you're sharp, you'll get it. **

**Um. Okay, swear to God, I had more stuff to say. But I totally forgot all of it. Soo... yeah. I love you all! Please review! See you in the next update!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Gah, I'm really sorry about the time skip. I was distraught because I can physically feel the writer's block settling over me. I also decided to make the chapters shorter. I just always feel like they aren't long enough... I have an inability to recognize anything I do as good enough. Like, I can't take a compliment, and I know it's really freaking annoying, but it's just how I am. **

**Last night, I was writing this, and I was like "Alright, Chapter 4, let's go." Chapter 4: The "okay, time for a break!" **

**Um, please review, it inspires me to fight through the veil of writer's block. Oh, by the way, Arden does have a reason for hating Bertolt, Reiner, Annie, Ymir, and Krista, but if you haven't read the manga, I won't spoil it. Honestly, I haven't read very much of the manga, but someone spoiled the whole thing for me. And that sucks. So I won't. Yeah. Okay. Thanks.**

* * *

><p>2 years after enlisting<p>

* * *

><p>"What's wrong Arlert? You're falling behind!" Shardis yells. "Is it too hard for you? Do you want to be the only one who puts down his equipment?"<p>

"If this was a real mission, you'd be Titan food already!" Shardis shouts, and rides faster to catch up with the other cadets.

I slow down to be closer to Armin before Reiner does. A surge of resentment rushes through my blood.

"Give me that." I say to Armin, and slip his equipment off of his shoulders and on to mine.

"But, they're going to punish you too!" He protests.

"Sucks to be me. Pick up the pace Arlert." I say, and speed up a little, but not enough that he can't catch up with me.

I smirk when a few seconds later, Armin grabs his equipment back. He starts pushing himself, and soon reaches the middle of the pack. I jog to keep pace with him. I smile at his determined face.

He doesn't want to be a burden.

I see the wooden outline of a Titan being raised into the air, and switch to 3DMG. I reach it first, Annie, and a couple other cadets close behind me, and make a perfect slice into it's 'neck'.

3 other cadets mimic my action, Annie cutting as clean a slice as me, Bertolt coming close, and Jean had a good attempt, but it didn't cut deep enough.

I hear Jean talking to himself about finding his own Titan first.

I sail off through the air, sarcastically winking at Shardis as I go by, making another perfect slice into a cutout Titan. I can almost hear him grading me in my head. _Arden Pynke, exemplary performance in every subject, excepting hand-to-hand, in which she is a total failure. _

I fly through the forest, perfectly cutting into every Titan I see, but I've got Connie and Sasha on my tail. _Ugh, the journal said they were supposed to follow Kirstein… I think. _While it was difficult to make out my writing 2 years ago, it was nigh impossible now. I've been re-writing what I can read, but in this native language. Anyone who sees it could read it, so I have to write it in code. It's frustrating, and it hurts to lose that piece of myself. I can still speak English phrases, basic ones. Helps for blurting stuff out under my breath accidently. No one understands what I say.

I sigh, it seems that there are no more uncut Titans. I slice into old ones until Shardis announces our departure.

* * *

><p>"Hyaaaaah!" Connie yells as he runs at me with a knife.<p>

I block his attack easily, something I once failed at, but quickly learned. I grab Connie by the neck and slam him to the ground. _Hmm. He's surprisingly light. _

"Gahhh! That hurts." He whines.

I reach my hand down. He grabs it, and I pull him up.

"Nice try."

He holds the knife out to me. "Your turn." He says tiredly.

"You want me to go easy on you?" I ask.

"No!" He says. "I can take you."

I nod, glancing over at Reiner and Eren. Confronting Annie. Fools. I turn my attention back to Connie. I run at him with the knife, but rather than going in for a hit, I jump up high, and flip over his head, landing softly. I sweep my leg across the backs of his knees, letting him fall flat on his back. I pin his elbows with my knees, and hold the wooden knife to his throat.

He sighs, "You win."

I smirk and turn my attention back to Annie and Eren. I watch as she brings him to the ground with little effort.

"Can I go now?" she asks Reiner in that detached voice of hers.

"No. It's not over until he lets go of the dagger." he objects.

Annie sighs. She kicks him up, and snatches the knife out of the air. Eren falls roughly. She tosses the knife to Reiner.

"Now it's your turn to attack me." she says.

"I don't…" Reiner starts.

"Do it, Reiner" Eren speaks up. "You're gonna teach her the responsibility of being a soldier, right?"

"Yeah, sometimes a soldier can't back down." Reiner says grimly.

"Like right now!"

He's on the ground a second later, Annie walking away, a bored look on her face.

"Your technique is incredible. Who taught you to fight?" Eren asks in awe.

"My dad." She replies shortly.

"Your father could-" Eren begins.

"Who cares?" She interjects coldly. "Doing this is pointless."

"You mean this training?" Eren asks.

"Anti-personnel techniques don't factor in to our scores." she says. "So people just take it easy until it's over. The right to join the Military Police and live in the secure Inner District is only granted to the top scoring 10 graduates. The people who bother participating are either stupidly serious like you, or seriously stupid." Her eyes go to Connie and Sasha, who are now sparring. Then me. "Or, just bored."

She rushes Eren, "Why in this world are the people most capable of opposing the Titans the only ones given the privilege of avoiding them entirely? How do you think it got to be such a farce?" She asks darkly, knife poised at Eren's throat.

"Who knows?" He says, pushing back. He grabs her wrist, and she kicks his legs out from under him again, holding the knife to his neck also, again.

"Maybe it's just human nature?" She blinks and stands back up. "Point is, I can't even pretend to be stupid enough to play soldier in this insane world."

"Then you're not fit to be a soldier" Reiner says to her retreating figure. She keeps walking.

I wonder if she's right. Human nature. Hide behind the walls with the strong people and let the weak scream and die. I want to be strong. Strong enough to stop the screams. Maybe I'm becoming like Eren. Because I understand now. I want to kill them all too. Everyone seems to be trying to get better at killing Titans, just to run away. Yet, here are Eren and I. Getting stronger to run closer. Perhaps we're the insane ones.

* * *

><p>I'm sitting alone at the same table I have for 2 years, and I tune into a conversation.<p>

"It's just natural. Before the fall of Wall Maria, only the few soldiers of the Scout Regiment utilized 3DMG. With limited usage or innovation, the entire practice would naturally fall into decline…" Armin is saying.

I start listening to Jean. "You should rev it up hard, but just for a second. Using inertia that way, you can minimize gas consumption." I smile dryly. That's my technique.

"You make it sound so simple" says some boy whose name I have not bothered to learn.

"Sure, it's not something anyone could master." He looks at Mikasa and starts speaking louder "But it's still worth remembering if you're trying to get into the Military Police."

"It'd be great if I could get in…" says Marco. "There's no higher honor than working near the King"

"C'mon Marco!" Jean says, slapping the cup into his face. "Stop being such a goody-goody and just tell the truth. You want to join the Military Police so you can live a simple, comfortable life within the Inner District."

"No, I actually want to-" Marco starts again.

I have to suppress a groan when Eren starts talking. "So interior life's simple and comfortable? Five years ago, this place was also part of the interior."

"What's your point, Eren?" Jean asks.

"Jean, you're such a simpleton, you'd be comfortable wherever you go." He says.

Reiner and Connie chuckle. "Damn you…" Jean says threateningly.

"Don't you think it's crazy? Learning how to kill Titans just to run away from them?" Eren asks.

I take this moment to jump in. "Not especially. Crazy that is. Bring the strong ones to the Inner District and hide behind them when everything goes to shit."

Eren looks at me incredulously. "And that's okay?!"

"Didn't say it was. Just how things are. People are selfish. Not something that's going to change anytime soon, eh Jean?" I say flatly.

Jean, confused, says "No?"

"And there you have it." I say simply, still sitting.

Eren stands up, Jean too, and grabs him by the vest. Mikasa rises, and grabs Eren's hand.

"Enough." The two share a look.

Jean grabs Eren my the shirt now. "Dammit you asshole!" he yells.

"Fuck you! I backed off!" Eren screams back.

"Who cares?! I'm so jealous!" Jean shouts.

"What the hell are you even talking about?!" Eren asks loudly.

Eren has his inner monologue, and copies Annie's move from this morning. Jean catches my hair as he goes down.

I stand, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. I pick up Jean, grab Eren, and knock their heads together. I push Eren in the direction of his chair, and look Jean in the eyes.

"Don't fucking touch me." I say cruelly.

"It was Eren's faul-" He beings.

"I don't give a shit. Now sit your ass down. Shardis probably heard us."

Cue Shardis opening door. "I thought I just heard some kind of loud noise. Someone care to enlighten me as to what's going on?"

"Jean fell on his ass, sir." I say deadpan.

He nods and leaves. I stand up, toss my uneaten bread to Sasha, and leave as well.

* * *

><p><strong>I decided giving Arden's bread to Sasha would be a normal thing. Use your imagination for her reaction. Probably something similar to how she treated Krista, yeah? Cause Summer told Arden to be nice, so Arden does her best. Maybe knocking Eren and Jean's heads together wasn't the kindest option, but hey! Bitch touched her hair.<strong>

**Review please! Oh, by the way, Arden isn't really based on anyone, certainly not me. I guess she shares some traits with my sister. That's all then. Thanks, bye.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, this is gonna be a really short chapter. It's only dialogue, really. It's a conversation Arden has with Eren about what branch of the army she's going to join. A really dark side of Arden comes out in this... I like it. *Grins manically* Anyways, shortest chapter in the history of ever, especially in comparison with the previous four. I'm coming down with a bad case of writers block, and this was all I could squeeze out. **

**I really need to go back and salvage something good from the past couple chapters. Even I can see how Mary-Sue Arden is becoming. She really needs some more flaws. She is a socially-awkward penguin in her old life, but in here she just doesn't talk to people... Eh. I'll fix it later. **

* * *

><p>"Scout Regiment." I say emotionlessly.<p>

"Wha? You?!" Eren exclaims

"Yes. That's what I enlisted for." I reply calmly, amused at his disbelief.

"B-but! You were the one talking about the Military Police! Why you should join to hide behind the walls where it's safe!" He objects.

"I was merely explaining why people do join." I explain.

"B-b-ut… y-you!" Eren stutters.

"Hmm?" I ask.

"You're the 2nd top of the class! Only Mikasa is above you!"

"Yes." I nod.

"That's… you should join the Military Police Brigade!" he says loudly.

"Now you want me to? Interesting." I say, amusement trickling into my voice.

"N-no. I think it's great that you want to join the Scout Regiment." He says, quieter.

"Hmm. Good." I state plainly.

"B-but… why? Why do you want to join the Scout Regiment?" He asks.

"To let my little sister see the world." I say sweetly. Then my tone changes back to it's default iciness. "That's the ideal answer, yes? No. I want to kill them. Titans. I want to join the Scout Regiment, destroy the Titans, and bring down the monarchy."

"Y-y-you…. B-b-ut y-y-ou… Wha? Th-that's treason!" Eren stutters.

"Hmm. I suppose. Are you going to report me?" I ask, knowing he won't.

"N-n-o."

"Good."

"b-but… why? Why do you want to kill them?" he asks, bewildered at my murderous intent.

"You should know. You want the same thing." I say pointedly.

"h-how d-do y-?" He starts.

"You've made it quite clear. However, I don't want to kill them to avenge my mother. Nor my father. Because, sometimes, you must ask yourself who the real enemy is. I want to kill them because we are prey to them, and I dislike that. I will not be prey. I want to be the predator, the Titans can be prey. Prey to my swords." I say darkly, cold cruelty coating my voice.

"…" Eren stares, silenced.

"Good night, then. Sleep well."

* * *

><p><strong>Short chapter is short. And lame. But. Deal with it. If you don't like it there is this lovely button in the upper left corner of your screen to take you away.<strong>

**That sounded awful. I should stop talking.**

**umm... I love you all, and I'll try to get out of this really bad mood I'm in, and maybe post some new chapters. I'm going to attempt to update my other story now. Bye.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh God. I'm an awful person. I feel really bad about how long it's been since I've updated. I have a dozen excuses, but.. ugh. I'm sorry. I ended up putting off all of my everything, and just sitting in my room staring at the ceiling for about a week, then I spent all my time trying to make up homework. And then I was too busy watching anime and reading other fanfiction to even try to write. I'm sorry...**

**...After reading quite a few fan insert fics, I gained a new perspective. Like, we all think being in the world of our favorite TV show or anime or book would be fantastic. But maybe not.. I mean think about it. You're stranded in this alternate universe, this parallel world. You don't know anyone, and no one knows you. Not a single person. You don't have anywhere to stay or go, no one to go to, no way to get things. You don't exist there. Sure, you could meet the main characters and everything would be fine… right? But what if they hate you. What if they lock you up in the nut hut for claiming you're from a parallel universe. And really, would you even want to be there? Most fictional stories aren't pretty. Danger, monsters, lots of death. **

**And after that morbid thought, I'm just going to stop procrastinating and write this chapter. I'll have an even longer A/N at the end so you can keep listening to me ramble. Or you should probably just skip it.. but here goes.**

* * *

><p>"Thanks" I say shortly.<p>

The Garrison soldier nods.

I take the envelope from the soldier, and go back to the barracks to read the letter.

It's strange, the envelope. Summer usually uses cheap, yellowed ones. This one is clean, crisp and white.

I sit down on my bunk, and slip my finger under the flap, tearing it open.

I take out the paper, and I know something is wrong. This paper… it's too delicate. Thin and clean and white. Almost like paper from my old world. Summer could never afford that..

My hands are shaking as I unfold the paper.

We regret to inform you

I quickly fold the paper closed again.

I can't breathe.

_No… Summer's not _dead. _She can't be! She… she can't leave me alone. How did she die? Who would kill Summer?_

_That boy… that boy from her letters. The one that was far too interested in her books. He didn't…?_

I unfold the letter again.

Cadet Pynke:

We deeply regret to inform you that your adoptive sister, Summerlyn Glist, has been murdered.

The Military Police extends its sincerest sympathy in your great loss. On account of existing conditions, the body cannot be returned at present, and the request for you to break from training was rejected.

A sob escapes my constricted throat. Tears pour down my face. _No! Summer can't be dead._

_She's not dead. She's fine. She's okay. She's sitting on her bed in the cellar, reading her books. She's fine. She's okay…_

I repeat the mantra in my mind. _But she's not. _I sob loudly. _She's not okay. I'll never get to see her smile again. _

_I won't even get to see her body. Cold and dead, but still her. The won't even let me off training for a second to see my dead sister. _

Anger floods my veins. I jump off the bed, clutching the letter to my chest, and kick at the bed frame.

_Fucking Military Police! It's their fault! It's their fault she's dead!_

I punch the wall. I punch again and again at the cool concrete. My hands are bleeding, but I don't care. I keep attacking the wall, furious.

I go back to kicking the bed frame, until the heavy wood splinters. I sink to the floor, still crying hard.

_I'll kill him. That boy, he did it. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to smash his little face into a wall and beat the shit out of him until he dies! I'll make him feel her pain! _

I stand up, and kick open the door, nearly hitting a very surprised Sasha.

"Arden? What's wrong?" she asks. I push past her, more roughly than I thought. She falls over.

"Hey!"

I run away, boiling with murderous intent. I storm down the path at top speed, sprinting across the training grounds. I close my eyes, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. I run, feeling the wind rustle through my waist length hair.

I hit something hard, and fall right on my ass. I open my eyes, to see that I ran right in to Eren.

"Nnng. Arden?" Eren asks.

I stand up, a bit quickly. White spots span across my vision. I stand a few seconds until they dissipate, then I keep running. Eren grabs my ankle as I pass him, and I fall again.

"Let go!" I hiss.

"Arden what's wrong?"

I get into a sitting position, then use my other foot to stomp on his hand, making him release my ankle. Then I try to start running again, but Mikasa is outside now. She flips me in the air, and I land flat on my back.

Eren comes over and sit next to me, motioning for Mikasa to leave. She raises an eyebrow, but goes back inside after a second of hesitation.

"Arden, what's wrong?" Eren asks me again.

I squeeze my eyes shut, the tears pool in my ears, muffling my hearing.

"She's dead." I say, my voice broken. "She's totally, completely, irrevocably dead." I look at him, the deep piercing pain shining in my grey eyes. "He killed her." I say, darkness seeping into my tone.

"Who killed her? Who's her?"

I shut my eyes again. The anger is gone, leaving me to drown in the depression. It feels like a hole has opened up inside me. One that will never ever close. Summer is… was… a part of me. I don't think anyone could take her place.

"Arden, what happened?" Eren asks.

Rain starts to drizzle down from the sky, hitting the ground with soft taps. It's so dramatically anime-styled I nearly smile. Nearly. But I don't. How could I?

My tears mix with the rain, which quickly turned from a drizzle to a downpour. I sit up, my movements slow and deliberate, stand, and walk away, back in the direction of the barracks.

Eren follows me. "Arden, what happened? What's going on."

I ignore him. When I get inside, Eren stays out. Boys aren't permitted inside the girls' barracks.

"Sorry." I mumble to Sasha as I pass her bunk.

"It's okay! But, Arden, what's wrong?" she chirps.

I climb up onto my bed, pull on my old sweater, and curl up into a ball. I listen the patter of the rain on the roof, and sink into a dreamless sleep.

My sleep is only ever without dreams when it gets really bad.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey. Sorry again. There's chapter six finally.<strong>

**So, I was thinking. Arden would technically be, like, 30 or something by now, but I don't really like that idea. So I'm going to go with the mind of a seventeen year old. A very wise one. Because she may have sort of lived for about 30 years, but she hasn't had the experience of a 30 year old. Her life experience in her old world only lasted up to sixteen, and she didn't experience being seventeen or eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one and so on. So therefore, mind of a seventeen year old.**

**Heh. I mostly just wanted to make it so she wasn't so old.**

**Again, I'm really super sorry about the exceptionally late update. I had a bunch of stuff to write in the A/N, but I don't want to make you read too much. **

**Love ya! I'll do my best to get the next chapter up super early, please forgive me and review. It doesn't have to be sunshine and giggles, some advice would be nice! Maybe on how to be less awful at writing. Also, how to make Arden less Mary-Sue. Because seriously, she is so generic right now. Perfect at fighting or whatever, and with 30 pounds of baggage like every other character.**

**Bye now!**

**-*Note* My other stories are on temporary hiatus until I finish this one. -**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hiiiii. To make up for the very late update, I decided to post chapter seven today! Yay! Or maybe not yay? Hopefully yay.**

**Do you ever write or read or say a word too many times, and it all of the sudden completely loses meaning.**

**I don't know.**

**I'm just gonna write for real now.**

**Okay.**

* * *

><p>The 2 next weeks or so passes in a haze. I go through training, barely even trying. Any chance I had at being the top of the class is gone. I hardly eat, usually just passing off my food to Sasha. Under any normal circumstances, she'd be ecstatic about it, but she accepts it reluctantly.<p>

My time outside of training is spent laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Every once in awhile, Mina tries to cheer me up. Krista used to try, but after I made my resentment of her clear, she gave up.

I can't think of anything but Summer. I'll never be able to read to her again. I'll never be able to sing to her, to cry with her. I won't ever hear her strange, musical accent again. I won't be able to brush and braid her hair. I won't ever see her beautiful smile again. Summer.. my little sister. She's… she's gone.

She's gone and all I can do is cry. Stare at the ceiling and wait for myself to go too. That's not how it's supposed to be! I need to be strong. I'm going to save lives! I won't let another person die. Thomas, Marco, Mina, Franz, Hannah, Tom. I'm going to save them. Mike, Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Eld, Luke, Dita, Pixis, Rico

I think of all of the characters… no. Not characters. People.. People that will die. _I'm going to save them. I won't let them die! _

I sit straight up, and pull out my journal. _Summer… Summerlyn is gone. And I can't change that. But I can, and I will, change this. I will do everything in my power to save them. For her. I need to do this for Summer._

I flip to the back, where there are still some empty pages. I take out my pen and inkwell, and I write down the name of everyone I can remember that will die. I write when and where. After I finish the list, I write below _**I WILL SAVE THEM. **_in English.

Over the next few pages, I scrawl down my plans for saving them.

I remember now, something I read in my old life. The five stages of grief.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

I've finally made it to acceptance. It still hurts. It hurts so much. But I'm going to take my pain, and I'm going to do something about it. Because I understand now. The people of this world are _not _just characters in a book. They are real, living beings, with feelings, and friends, and families. They are precious and they are alive. I intend for them to stay that way.

I'm not sure why it took me so long to get it through my thick skull. Why it took Summer dying for me to understand, but I know now.

* * *

><p><strong>Awww. Arden got all touchy feely! <strong>

**I'm sure I didn't cover all of the deceased characters, but I did my best. Review if I missed anyone please. Also, review if you like the story! Or if you hate it. I'd like to know either way. And, if you do hate it, I'd love know why, so I can try to fix it!**

**I'm sorry for the super short chapter, but I wanted Arden to get over herself quickly so I could move on, and because I wanted to get this chapter out ASAP.**

**That 'get over herself quickly' comment sounded really heartless. I do want to say that it physically hurt to write in Summer's death, because I love Summer, alright? So I'm going to pass off my deep internal pain as cruelty or something. Whatever.**

**I'll be going now, because it's late and I have a big test tomorrow that I didn't study for, and loads of homework I didn't do that I need to get up in a few hours to do. So. Ugh. Yay for getting 4 hours of sleep. Woo. Bye.**


	8. Author Note

**Hey again! I decided I'd address all of the reviews I've gotten so far (and haven't yet replied to)**

**10/6 Tatopatato: Thanks! I sorta took your advice on the shorter chapters.. maybe too short. But I appreciate the advice!**

**10/7 Beawolf's Pen: Thank you! I had fun with the freckled Jesus thing. Marco's one of my favorite characters. I'll consider letting him live. At this point in the story, Arden wants to save everyone, but that's a bit unrealistic. I might let a few live, but certainly not all of them.**

**10/6 Lita(Guest): Heh. When I wrote her having a hard time reading, it was mainly because she wrote it when she was about 3, but it was in the back of my mind to have her lose her grasp of English. It's one of the things keeping her grounded, and it's fun to make me characters go insane. Wow. I'm such a sadist. :p**

**10/7 CoO(Guest): Thank you! I'm trying to make her flawed and relatable, but it can be difficult to make a person in her situation relatable. Flawing people isn't hard though. She's really bad at talking to people, so she tends not to. She is also terrified of totally random things. Like.. cheese? Naw, she's not afraid of cheese. That's just an example.**

**10/13 Tatopatato: Thanks so much! I really appreciate these reviews, they keep me writing, y'know? I can just go back and read all these people being so nice to me and it makes me all smiley and bubbly inside :D. I didn't actually expect so much positivity as criticism. I usually get a whole lot of criticism, so it was a nice change to see some good feedback somewhere in my life. I really want to thank you!**

**10/13 Beawolf's Pen: Yeah. It really grates on my nerves when characters get like that, and I have a lot of trouble changing them. I sort of have this thing where I believe that people don't really change.. and it makes hard to see anything in a different light, but I try to see things from all sides, and I did my best to fix her.**

**10/21 Freddie4153: Sorryyy! I got busy and fell behind, but I will try to be more regular in my updates.**

**10/22 Beawolf's Pen: I can't remember if I replied to this yet or not.. but here goes anyways! It was really difficult to write in Summer dying, but it's a plot device I usually use with these two. I write with Arden and Summer in a lot of different stories, and sometimes I have Summerlyn die to show some character development in Arden and demonstrate just how much Summer affects her. Also, Summer is quite often her biological sister, despite them being only close friends here, so the effects of her death can change the story a lot. Thanks for helping me out with Arden's overwhelming Mary-Sueness, I'm doing my best to get her out of that hole.**

**10/23 TWDGLover: Thank you so much! I spent a lot of time thinking about fan-inserts and how they act about their universe-hopping, and how unrealistic it seems, so I was going for a little variation in that area. I think that was a run-on sentence, but I'm too lazy to fix it. Anyways, thanks a bunch for your super-nice review! I love hearing this sort of stuff, it makes me smile for a good hour.**

**10/24 Beawolf's Pen: Hey, thanks for reviewing so much! I wanted to use the Kübler-Ross model (the five stages of grief) somewhere, and I always have a bit of trouble bringing characters to the stage of acceptance. I do plan on having Arden fail a bit in that area. It'll hurt a lot, but it might help with her naivete (funny how she calls Marco naive). I love Marco too! I think I'll let him live, but I'm still considering the pros and cons of that.**

**10/26 Guest: Heh. Sorry. My first few chapters were reeaallly long, so I thought I'd shorten them, and they just kept getting shorter and shorter. I will try to write longer chapters! I just have a lot of stuff going on in school, and there's a whole lot of drama going on with my family, and I've just been having a really bad week. I haven't found much time to write, and when I do, I don't like how anything sounds, so I end up starting over, and it's pretty awful. Anyways, I'll do my best. Thanks for your review, I appreciate it!**

**^tl;dr To summarize, thanks for your reviews, I do my best to take your advice.**

**As I said above, I've been having a hell of a week. No, month. **

**Do you ever get that strange feeling? Like, everything's bad, but it's been that way for awhile. It's always been bad. But sometimes I wonder, when exactly was it when everything went to shit? I get stuck contemplating where everything went wrong, that made my life the way it is. **

**My writing's been getting darker, so I've had to trash a lot of chapters and start over. It really sucks when my personal life gets too intermixed with my writing, and it affects the quality of my work. My chapters are getting shorter because it's getting harder to find good material. **

**Anyways, I'm really sorry for how stuff's been happening, and I'll try to be more regular in my updates and the length of my chapters.**

**Ughh.. I just read this over and it seems so pitiful. Sorry. I'm going to just do the chapter now :/**

**I am so beyond frustrated right. I spent all weekend writing a good 7 pages for this chapter, while I was suffering at my dad's house. (I love my dad, but his wife is sort of a bitch, and her kids are the spawn of the devil) I rewrote that chapter a lot, and I really liked how it turned out. I put the pages in my clipboard (it had an inside compartment for paper) and they are very distinctly not there. I tore apart my bag and my entire room trying to find them and they are not anywhere! It's so infuriating to spend so much time on something and have it lost. Uggghhhhh! I'm sorry. I'll try to rewrite it as best I can, but the update might be late.**


	9. Chapter 8 PLEASE READ Author Note

******PLEASE READ A/N, IT'S IMPORTANT******

**Hey.**

**I've been having a really difficult time lately, and I think I'm going to discontinue this story, or at the very least put it on temporary hiatus.**

**You deserve an explanation, but I can't bring myself to give one right now, so I'm sorry.**

**I had a lot of plans for this story and a lot of work went in to what I do have, including deleted chapters, rewrites, alternate scenarios, and a whole lot of extra characters and scenes that got cut simply for lack of free time and energy.**

**I'm going to post what I have written for Chapter 8, but it will probably be quite awhile before there's any continuation of it, or a chapter nine. The build-up of stress got to be too much, and I'm taking a break from pretty much everything.**

**I guess I'll explain, but not in too much depth.**

**I've been in and out of the hospital and I've had to see a lot of specialists. So many tests and shit. My mother, who I used to rely on is never there anymore, trying her hardest to keep a goddamn roof over our heads, working too much overtime with not enough pay. Dealing with her own disease. My stepmom is being her usual bitchy self, trying to take us (my sister and I) away from our mom and forcing things upon us we really cannot handle. I don't know, maybe it'd be better if we lived there. I've taken up all of the household duties. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, trips to the store, dealing with bills best I can. I have to take care of my (older, and perfectly capable, mind you) sister, because she's not willing to. I'm having to question if my friends are really friends. Teachers and school in general is getting more and more demanding. Please note, this is me not going into detail, and not including the little things. The pressure is crushing me and I can't handle a single extra thing anymore.**

**Here's everything I've written of chapter eight. Maybe I'll pick this back up one day. I hope so.**

******PLEASE READ A/N, IT'S IMPORTANT******

For the first few seconds after I open my eyes the next morning, I'm in blissful ignorance. Then the weight of Summerlyn's death crashes down on my shoulders. I can barely move.

I think, then, of what I thought about last night. The crushing weight is lifted a bit, replaced by hope, and determination.

Today I'm the first one awake in my barracks. It used to always be that way, but the past few weeks, I've been waking later than usual, sometimes missing the first half of breakfast.

I hop off my bunk, my feet softly hitting the wood floor. I creep to the bathroom, careful to keep silent so as not to wake the other girls.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I can only see my face. My eyes look tired, my hair limp and greasy. A pitiful sight. I shake my head, and jump into the shower.

The water is cold, but refreshing. When I was in my old life, my showers were always warm and long, but I had no such luxury here. A large bucket of cold water hanging overhead has small holes punctured in the bottom, sprinkling out water that barely lasts long enough to wash my hair. It seemed so primitive at first, but I've grown used to it.

I dry myself off, and begin the long, arduous process of brushing out my long red locks. Reminiscent of Summer, I style my hair into the 9 strand Dutch braid and tuck the ends up into little buns.

I walk to the mess hall, breathing in the early morning air. Rather than the clear soup, they're serving gloopy oatmeal.

More kids start to filter in, including Marco, Jean, Ymir, Krista, and Eren's group.

Mina, Sasha, and Connie walk in. Mina looks surprised to see me awake, with my hair done up.

I sit down at their table, with Mina, Sasha, Connie, Marco,and Jean.

Sasha is thoroughly shocked when I eat all of my food. Mina smiles and offers me her bread.

I shake my head "Maybe you should give that to Sasha."

Sasha's eyes go wide, and she's practically drooling. Mina's smile widens and she stuffs all of the bread in her mouth. Then she gets up, and leaves with a flourish.

She's always so sweet, the act was hilarious.

Sasha looks so defeated that I have to laugh. It's been so long, my laugh comes out as an odd squeak. My voice adjusts, and becomes a soft, musical sound.

When I stop laughing, I see the entire room staring at me.

"What?" I snap.

Connie speaks up. "N-nothing, we've just never heard you laugh is all."

My face heats up. "Sh-shut up." I stand up and run out of the mess hall, catching up with Mina.

She chatters to me absent-mindedly, but I'm lost in my own thoughts.

_Have I really never laughed before? _

I used to laugh all the time, in the cellar with Summer. Even in my old life, I laughed all the time despite everything I might've gone through.

It really shouldn't be such a surprise that I've not laughed. I barely talk. Sometimes I'll mumble in English, but I stopped after Armin started throwing me strange looks.

Summer made me laugh so easily. She is… was, my little sister after all. She was just a little ray of sunshine, she made everyone happy.

Whenever we got our rations, she made small talk with the soldiers. There was a kind old woman in the market that gave her free samples every morning.

People were more wary of me. Even with Summer, my eyes were steely and emotionless outside of the cellar. My gait cold and unforgiving. No one trusted me.

It's strange. Here, despite my shell, Mina, Sasha, and Connie are still sort of my friends. _Can I call them my friends? Do I have that right?_

I think about my fellow cadets. Mina, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Marco, Hanna, Franz, Thomas, Samuel, Eren, Armin, Mikasa. They're good people. Over these years, I've slowly come to know them, yet they know so little of me. My only display of emotion was my spot of insanity at Summer's death.

"Awww" Mina's cooing breaks me out of my trance. I look up, and freeze.

"It's so cute!"

I shake my head rapidly, and stumble back, falling on my butt and scrambling farther away.

"Arden?"

I squeak and try to crawl back further. The evil creature approaches.

"Are you… scared?"

"It's evil!" I exclaim.

Mina stares at me for a second, then bursts out laughing.

The demonic creature retreats into the bushes, but I know it's not truly scared. They have no fear.

"A-rden. You.. you're afraid.. of bunnies!" She gasps out between bursts of laughter.

"They're demons!"

I hear footsteps behind us.

"What's so funny?" Marco asks.

"Arden is afraid of rabbits! Innocent little bunnies!"

They both stare.

"Innocent!? That's what they want you to think! They're demons!" I screech.

Marco snickers, trying to holds back, but Jean straight out laughs.

I fix them with my hardest glare, making them laugh harder, and stand up, trying to maintain my dignity, I run ahead, warily glancing at the offending bushes as I go.

* * *

><p>When I get to the schoolhouse, only the instructor is there.<p>

"G'morning." I mumble.

He looks surprised. It's rare that I speak outside of answering a question. Then again, it's rare that I answer a question.

"Good morning, Cadet Pynke."

I take my seat near the back of the class and read over the information packet for today's lesson. Mina, Jean, and Marco enter, all grinning. Mina sits down next to me, while Jean and Marco sit at the table behind us.

About 5 minutes have passed when everyone else arrives, sans Eren's group. Alone, Mikasa and Armin are quite punctual. Eren always seems to be late. As a result, when they are in a group, they are generally tardy.

When they enter the instructor gives Eren a condescending glare, and he smiles sheepishly. Eren and Armin sit together, and Mikasa sits by Annie. I can tell she's still not pleased with her seating arrangement, but she's quiet about it. Her and Annie get along quite well anyways, Mikasa just wants to be by Eren.

The lesson, while filled with things I already know, also informs me on far more than was revealed in the anime and manga. It's almost humbling, knowing that I don't know everything. It's also a comforting feeling. I certainly don't want to know everything.

After the lesson is finished, we go to the training area.

During training, I could see that Shardis was pleasantly surprised at my drastic improvement. Now that I'm actually making an effort, my scores are rising.

On the way back to the mess hall, I hear him mumbling about moving my placement up. I might be in the top ten after all.

Sasha cheers when we are informed that there will be an hour long break before lunch. It usually takes place before dinner, but we have two today. I frown, knowing the next training session will be difficult if we get two breaks.

Eren, Armin, Mina, and I are on clean up today. I'm not especially excited for that. I've always hated cleaning.

I smile, remembering the time I was helping Summer clean the cellar, and I knocked down all of the candles, setting the blanket on fire.

I go to the barracks and climb up on my bunk. I grab Summer's book, and jump to the ground, my feet softly landing on the cool stone floor. I take a moment to look around, then I tuck the book into the pocket I made in my uniform jacket.

I'd stitched an extra piece of cloth on the inside of my jacket, and it works quite well as a pocket. Well, when I remember to clear it out before 3DMG training.

My smile returns, thinking about the time Mikasa and I were racing, and I did a flip. My pen and some coins rained to the ground, hitting Annie in the head on their way down.

I jog out of the barracks, waving to Mina and Sasha as I go.

I keep a steady pace until I find a nice tree. I sit cross-legged at the base, leaning against the trunk.

I open the book and relax, reading the familiar words with ease. I've always loved to read.

I move my lips, mouthing the words as I read. I try to translate the words to English, but I can only do a few.

I feel crushed. English is all I've got left of my old life. Tears well up in my eyes.

I tilt my head back, refusing to let them fall. I draw my knees to my chest, and wrap my arms around my legs, letting my head rest on my bony knees.

I stay like that for a few minutes, then straighten out.

I'm wrong. I have more than my lost language. I've got my memories. Those few good ones, I've still got them, tucked away.

I close my eyes and lay down on the grass.

I think back, so far back, to when my daddy was alive. Before Mom started drinking.

_I can't remember their faces anymore. _

I think about my eighth birthday. I wanted to go to some huge waterpark that just opened. My dad had said no, and I was distraught.

We ended up going on a picnic in the park by our house. We sat in the grass, eating sandwiches that my mom made. Dad told my stories about when he was a kid.

I remember after we ate, I climbed on my dad's back, and he ran around the meadow. At one point he took me by the wrists and spun around. It felt like I was flying. It was the best birthday I'd ever had. I was glad we didn't go to the waterpark.

When I crack my eyelids back open, my eyes are wet with tears. I wipe them away, and stand up.

I feel warm.. almost _happy_, because I do have a piece of home. I can't remember my parent's faces, or the name of my second goldfish, but I still have the bittersweet memories of the best and worst moments.

* * *

><p>I walk up the hill to the mess hall, and sit there waiting. I turn my head when I hear the door. A Garrison officer looks around until he sees me.<p>

"Arden Pynke?" He questions.

I nod.

"Package for you, Miss." The soldier states, handing me a small box.

"Thanks.." I trail off. It's strange to have them actually come to me for a package.

He nods, and marches away.

I rise, and select a knife from the table of silverware at the front of the room.

I sit back down at the table and slice through the tape, and open the box.

Inside, there is a smaller, wooden box. I lift the cover. The box is lined with soft, blue velvet. There's a gold pocket watch and a leather bracelet.

The pocket watch was Summerlyn's father's. I slide my thumb over the glossy cover, and press down on the button where the chain is attached. The watch pops open. A note flutters out.

I know what you know.

Meet me behind the equipment shed tonight at midnight.

Tendrils of fear coil up in me. I slip the note in my jacket pocket, careful not to show any reaction. I pick up the bracelet. It's beautiful. A strip of leather, with SUMMERLYN carved in elegant script. It's stained a soft brown, with a silver clasp at the end.

I clasp her bracelet around my wrist, and clip the pocket watch to my belt, sliding the watch in my pocket. I have something of her.

A tear rolls down my face. I swipe it away. I've cried too much today.

Sasha, Connie, Mina, Jean and Marco burst into the mess hall.

"You're kidding!" Sasha exclaims. She sees me sitting down and burst out laughing.

"Arden, you can't seriously be afraid of _bunnies!"_

I shudder, covering my panic at the note, though my hands are shaking. "They are the devil's spawn." I say darkly. The group sits down, Sasha shaking the table with her cackling.

She takes a couple deep breaths when I glare at her. "Right. Not funny." She says, barely containing her laughter.

I get up to get my lunch, and everyone else follows close behind me.

I scowl at Jean. "You told, didn't you?"

He looks so scared, I almost feel bad. "N-no. It was Marco!"

"Yeah…" Marco starts confusedly. "It was me!" he recovers.

His defense elicits a laugh from me.

"As if Marco could ever do something to upset someone." I say jokingly.

Jean looks relieved, like he expected me to do something violent. Everyone else, sans Marco, laughs.

After we get our lunch, we all sit back down, Sasha blabbering about how good the bread is.

I roll my eyes and start eating my soup.

"So," Mina starts. "What branch of the military are you all joining? I think I might join the Garrison regiment. It's not likely I'll score high enough to be in the Military police, but.. maybe the Scout Regiment.. " she trails off.

"Maybe I'll join the Scout Regiment!" Sasha pronounces gleefully.

I know… think, that Mina decides she wants to join the Scout Regiment later. I'm surprised that Sasha already wants to join… I thought that didn't happen until much later.

"Scout Regiment." I input.

"Well, duh." Sasha remarks, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I'd only ever mentioned it to Eren.. Maybe he said something? Or maybe I'm not as good at disguising my emotions as I thought.

"I still want to join the Military Police Brigade. It'd be such an honor to work under the King." Marco declares.

I see Eren in the corner of my eye. I can tell he's listening at this point.

Jean looks at him pitifully. "Marco, we've been over this! No need to hide behind your excuses. I'm joining the Mili-"

I give Sasha a pointed look. She's much more heeding than I thought, because she interprets my meaning quite easily, also seeing Eren, who looks ready to stand up and give another speech.

She interrupts Jean loudly. "Excuse me, people of the 104th Cadet Corp!" she shouts.

"I have an announcement to make!"

_...Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. _

She steps onto her chair.

"Now, many of you know of Arden here! Today, we've discovered a secret."

"Cadet Pynke's deepest, darkest fear!" she bellows.

"Now, I know what you're all thinking. What could so horrible that _Arden _would be afraid of? She's so strong and fearless."

I glare at her, but she's unfazed.

"Bear with me folks, because this is pretty terrifying."

I start to stand up, to slap my hand over her mouth. Jean grabs my wrist from across the table.

"Bunnies!" She shrieks.

There's a brief moment of silence as the realization sinks in.

Then laughter. So much laughter.

My cheeks color bright red, and I pull Sasha off of the chair she's standing on.

"I hate you." I spit venomously. She just chuckles.

I stalk off with my tray, keeping my own bread. Sasha doesn't deserve such kindness.

I go into the kitchen for clean up, groaning at the fact I'll be spending the time with Eren, Armin and Mina.

I stand behind the counter, smiling pleasantly at a boy who gives me his tray.

All thoughts of the embarrassment Sasha subjected me to are gone as I remember the note.

._.Know what you know._

_Did it mean.. the anime? Did they know I knew.. how I knew?_

I shake my head.

_Maybe.. _Summer's murder comes into my mind_. Could they mean the boy? Her killer? _

_What if it _is _the boy._

_I'll kill him. If it's him…_

"Hi" Armin's quiet voice breaks my concentration.

I look up at him. "Hey." I mumble.

Eren comes in and I send him a scathing look, trying to convey '_not a single word'._

Apparently Eren isn't as good at reading looks as Sasha.

"So, Arden." He starts, his voice taking on an almost singsong quality. "Bunnies?"

I can tell he's only just holding back a laugh. "What exactly brought on that fear?"

I shudder, remembering the terrible series of incidents that caused my strong aversion to the evil beasts.

I'd been hanging out in the woods behind my school with a 'friend' of mine. She was talking about a boy she was apparently in _love _with.

I spotted a white lump of fur, which turned out to be a rabbit. I approached the little fluff ball slowly, and when I bent down to to pet it, it pounced. It's claws dug into my cheeks and it latched on to my nose with it's carnivorous teeth. I bled profusely, and when I went to the hospital and they cleaned off the blood, there was literally holes in my face. I had to get stitches.

And to make the whole experience worse, that "friend" of mine told the story exaggeratedly with lovely rumors attached spreading a rather awful spindle of lies around the school, that had nothing to do with bunnies.

I blink at the vividity of the memory then shake it off. There were other occasions of such terror, but are irrelevant.

"It's a long and terrible tale." Also, one that wouldn't fit, because it happened in another world. Another life. My thoughts darken. Despite my own inner darkness at the time, it seems so much brighter in comparison. I was so innocent. I'd never watched anyone die. Never seen such through corruption.

Eren looks at me. "Mmhmm. I think you just don't want to tell!"

"Drop it." I say sharply, the black shadows of my reminiscence seeping into my voice.

Eren flinches at my tone, and stays silent.

I'm just about to apologize when Mina enters.

Eren seems relieved. "Hey, Mina!"

"Hi." Armin greets her quietly.

I nod to her.

"Hey, guys!" She chirps excitedly, and skips over to the back counter where the cleaning supplies are kept. She pulls on a pair of gloves and spins back around to face us.

"Arden! Eren! You two will do the dishes!" She tosses me a bottle of dish soap, which I catch easily with my catlike reflexes.

She lets out a low whistle. "Nice catch." She compliments me. "Armin!"

Armin flinches at her volume. "Yes?"

"You can help me clean the counters!" She tosses him a rag, which nails him in the face.

Mina winces. "Sorry!"

I collect the trays off the counter, scraping the excess food into the trash. I walk over to the sink and sort the dishes into neat stacks. I begin to fill the sink with water, and Eren stares.

"Are you going to help, maybe?" I inquire.

He looks up. "Hmm?"

"Dishes." I emphasize.

"Oh."

He joins me at the sink, edging away from me. I start washing a tray

_Is he.. scared? _I search his eyes. _He looks so uncomfortable. _

"So.." I begin. "How's training?"

He looks at me cautiously. "Fine."

I wash a few more dishes in silence.

"Anything you're having trouble with?" I ask carefully.

He glares. "I don't need _your _help."

It stings. Especially with my wonderment about having friends earlier.

"Right. Sorry." I say quietly.

I finish the dishes from breakfast, and move on to the lunch dishes.

**I told you the chapter was rather pitiful. Sorry to end it mid-way. Pretty much every chapter is completely unedited, and I meant to do so many changes, and additions, and more character development, major and minor. But here we are.**

**It's not even a cliffhanger. It just leaves a sort of feeling of emptiness. Wrongness, maybe. I had the next couple chapters planned out but… I've already explained myself. I guess if you have any questions or whatever, PM me or review. I'll respond at my earliest convenience.**

**It's probably gonna be awhile, so bye.**

***edit* Heh. I know I said it's gonna be awhile, but here I am, not a day later. I just checked my email awhile ago, and I saw that I got a couple reviews, which sorta surprised me. I read them, and I want to thank you (you know who you are) for understanding. It helps a bit with the guilt of stopping to know that you did enjoy it for what it was. Also, thanks for review at all. Reviews always make me feel a lot better about life in general.  
><strong>

**If I get any more reviews (thanks if you do) I'll either PM you or re-update this chapter with my thanks. Maybe (please know that this isn't a promise) I'll finish this chapter in a month or so.**

* * *

><p>*<strong>*edit** It's really late, and I can't sleep, so I figured I'd whine about it on fanfiction. Maybe I'm not ready to leave, considering I <em>keep coming back.<em> **

**I'm officially ready to describe the worst thing that's happening to me at the moment (well, one of the worst).  
>My stepmom is getting much more serious about taking custody of my little sister and I. There's going to be an inspection on Tuesday, and if they find my home unfit, I'll have to move. Moving entails uprooting me and my sister from the home we've had for 14 years<strong>

- inflicting further damage on her mental health. I know she's started cutting, and she won't talk to me anymore, and I'm really fucking scared for her because when I go into that sort of shell, things are as shitty as they can possibly be, and I can't see the worth in living. I don't want her to fail to see worth in living. I don't want her to feel anything negative ever. But what can I do?-,

**I wouldn't ever see my closest friends again, I'd have to stop going to the school district I've been in since kindergarten, in the middle of the year no less, and I wouldn't have internet. Ever. I live on the internet. It's all I do beyond acting (speaking of which, another thing I'd have to lose, my acting classes).**

**My biggest issue at the moment is my little sister. I love her so much. Summerlyn is mostly based upon her. She's the sweetest, most selfless girl you'll ever know. She doesn't deserve any of this. That's what my stepmom does though. She takes these kind people and turns them into shells of their former selves. I haven't had a true conversation alone with my own father for maybe 4 years. She's always there. Always listening. He doesn't laugh or joke anymore. I can tell he's just going through the motions, waiting for it all to end.**

**Will my life be like that? Caught in a tangled web of lies, just waiting for it all to end?  
><strong>

**My sweet, innocent little sister is cutting. I saw the scars on her wrists. And it hurts. It hurts so much. She won't talk to me anymore.  
>Think about the relationship Arden and Summer had.<br>We were like that. We were so close and now she won't say a word to me beyond 'pass the salt, please'. I don't give a shit what my stepmom does to me. I just want my little sister to be okay again. I can't remember the last time I was really okay, so what does it matter?  
><strong>

**Does that ever happen to you? You look back on your life, and you just wonder, when exactly was it that everything went to shit? What happened that took away the bright, radiant sun and brought out the ongoing storm that life is now?**

**It's funny. Yesterday, my friend told me I looked sad. She said that I'm usually so happy. I said "No. I'm not happy. I'm just better at hiding the pain sometimes."**  
><strong>Never mind. It's hardly humorous.<strong>

**The worst part is though, is that there's nothing I can do. I'm only a minor, and thusly need parent/guardian permission to enter the courtroom, which would never happen. So I'm stuck waiting. Waiting for the jurisdiction, the order to take me from my home.**

**I wish they'd just tell me.  
>Maybe I won't have to go.<br>But then, how likely is that?  
><strong>

**~KosmikQuixotic**


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